Congress Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why is Congress like a cold? Because sometimes the ayes (eyes) have it and sometimes the nos (nose).

Why is Congress like a cold? Because sometimes the ayes (eyes) have it and sometimes the no's (nose).

Congressman Foley was bombarded by large marshmallows by men in pink uniforms as a teenager, it was revealed today. I knew something would snap eventually said a source who did not want to be identified. He has been carrying this around with him for a long long time. I think it’s sad about the pages but hopefully Congressman Foley can now get the help he needs.

How you can spot a Canadian, eh? -Don McGillivray (Ottawa columnist for Southam Newspapers)

How do you tell a Canadian from an American?

It used to be enough to ask him to say the alphabet. When the Canadian got to the end, he`d say "zed" instead of "zee". But 18 years of Sesame Street have taught a lot of Canadian kids to say "zee," and it`s starting to sound as natural as it does south of the 49th parallel.

Another test used to be the word "lieutenant". Canadians pronounced it in the British was, "leftenant", while Americans say "lootenant". But American cop shows and army shows and movies have eroded that difference, too.

Canadians have been adopting American spelling as well. They used to put a "u" in words like labour. The main organization in the country, the equivalent of the AFL-CIO, is still officially called the Canadian Labour Congress. But news organizations more...

Republican Congressman Chuck Hagel is urging the President to find a new strategy in Iraq. “The American people are not going to continue to support a policy that puts American troops in the middle of a civil war,” Hagel said.on CNN’s Late Edition.

He also added, “If there’re senseless killing going on in Iraq, it’s gonna be Americans doing the senseless killing. Otherwise, we gotta get out.”

For the past five years, Sen. George Allen has failed to tell Congress about stock options he got for his work as a director of a high-tech company. Allens' page was unavailable for comment.

Q. Why did congress enact the Marine Corps? A. So, the sailors would have someone to dance with!