Confident Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
3. Men who have tattoos think they have a piece of artwork on them. Yeah, like a flaming skull is art?
4. Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he
coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.
5. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
6. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.
7. All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.
8. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and more...

1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
3. Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.
4. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
5. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.
6. All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.
7. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
8. All men hate to hear "We need to talk about our relationship." These seven words strike fear in more...

A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No", he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."
The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.
"What's it telling you now?"
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties..."
The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then because I am wearing panties!"
The man explains, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."

A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?""No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? Whats so special about it?""It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains."Whats it telling you now?" she asked."Well, it says youre not wearing any panties." he said. The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then because I am wearing panties!"The man explains, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."

A young boy asks his dad, "What is the difference between confident and confidential?"
Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there is also my son; that's confidential!"