Companion Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two old friends stopped for a drink after work. "I don't understand," Condy complained. "People take an instant dislike to me when they find out I'm a lawyer. Why would they do that?" "Maybe," her companion suggested, "it just saves time."

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to, "Where do pets come from?"

Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me everyday. Now I don't see you anymore. I'm lonesome here and it's difficult for me to remember how much you love me."

And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself."

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new more...

A woman makes a wonderful companion, but I wouldn't want to own one.

There was this guy who really took care of his body, he lifted weights and jogged six miles everyday. One morning he was admiring himself in the mirror and noticed he was suntanned all over with the exception of his penis which he readily decided to do something about.
He went to the beach, completely undressed and buried himself in the sand, except for his penis which he left sticking out.
Two little old ladies were strolling along the beach, one was using a cane.
Upon seeing the thing sticking out of the sand, she began to move it around with the cane. She said to her companion "There really is no justice in the world!"
Her companion replied "What do you mean?" The little old lady said "Look at that:
When I was 20, I was curious about it.
When I was 30, I enjoyed it.
When I was 40, I asked for it.
When I was 50, I paid for it.
When I was 60, I prayed for it.
When I was 70, I forgot about it.
And now that more...

At the dawn of time, Adam is in the garden of Eden with all theanimals. It is an absolute paradise, with the beauty of nature allaround, but Adam still feels there's something amiss, so he says to God "Hey God! There's something not quite right here still. I feel I need a companion, someone who will love me, care about me, always be there, always understand."
"That's quite a tough request", says God, "and it's going to cost you."
"How much?", says Adam.
"It'll cost you an arm and a leg", says God.
"That's a bit steep - I don't think I can afford that", says Adam. "What can I get for a rib?"

Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me every day. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me." And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are & will love you as I do, in spite of yourself."

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal." And God said, "No problem! Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name more...

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?"

Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you anymore. We are lonesome here and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us."

And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me.

Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves."

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in more...