Common Jokes / Recent Jokes

What does cunnilingus have in common with a presidential debate??
One slip of the toungue and you're in deep shit.

Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and the Green Bay Packers have in common?
A: They both BLEW the BIG one.

Q: What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? A: Snap-on tools!

1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop
2. Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Sponge
3. Dressing Up: Beyond the Funeral and the Wedding
4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead
5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Linoleum?:
You CAN Tell the Difference!
6. If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away: Accepting Loss I
7. If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, Keeping It In the
Refrigerator Won't Bring It Back: Accepting Loss II
8. Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Women Anymore!
9. Recycling Skills I: Boxes that the Electronics Came In
10. Recycling Skills II: Styrofoam that Came in the Boxes
that the Electronics Came In

11. Bathroom Etiquette I: How to Remove Beard Clippings from the Sink
12. Bathroom Etiquette II: Let's Wash Those Towels!
13. Bathroom Etiquette III: Five Easy Ways to Tell When
You're About to Run Out of Toilet Paper!
14. more...

# 31 Canola oil is actually rapeseed oil but the name was changed in Canada for marketing reasons.
# 32 The longest word in the English language is 1909 letters long and it refers to a distinct part of DNA.
# 33 The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb
# 34 1 in 2000 babies are born with a tooth that is already visible.
# 35 The straw was probably invented by Egyptian brewers to taste in-process beer without removing the fermenting ingredients which floated on the top.
# 36 The New York Stock Exchange started out as a coffee house.
# 37 Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them use to burn their houses down hence the expression "to get fired."
# 38 In Chinese, the words for crisis and opportunity are the same.
# 39 It's possible to lead a cow upstairs, but not downstairs.
# more...

MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET Workplace Hazardous Materials Information
Substance: Woman Manufacturer: God Typical Size: Average weight 115
lbs.; specimens can vary from 90 to over 200 lbs. Occurrence: Large
quantities found in urban areas and shopping malls.
1. Surface Tension-soft and warm.
2. Exposed surfaces usually cosmetically enhanced.
3. Boils at nothing.
4. Freezes without reason.
5. Melts with special reason.
6. Flavor initially sweet, becomes bitter if used incorrectly.
7. Found in various states of purity from virgin metal to common
8. Yields to pressure applied to specific points.
9. Sometimes enlarges alarmingly with age.
10. Even brief linking with male substance can cause substance to
reproduce with marked physical and mental changes.
1. Has affinity for gold, silver, and precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive more...

Q: What do the England footbal team and Posh Spice both have in common?
A: They've both been screwed by David Beckham.