Coke Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde women was stood at a coke machine. She kept putting money in and getting coke out. After the tenth can the man behind the blonde woman said:
"Excuse me, are you finished yet i am very thirsty." The blonde replied:
"Are you joking, im winning!"

"I had the strangest dream last night," a man was telling his psychiatrist. "I saw my mother, but when she turned around to look at me, I noticed that she had your face. As you can imagine, I found this very disturbing. In fact I woke up immediately, and couldn't get back to sleep. I just lay there in bed waiting for morning to come, and then I got up, drank a Coke, and came right over here for my appointment. I thought you could help me explain the meaning of this strange dream."
The psychiatrist was silent for a full minute before responding: "A Coke? That's a breakfast?"

A blonde walks into a hospital in slight discomfort.
"Can I have a hot towel to put on my nose, please?"
The nurse was curious and asked, "Why would you like a hot towel to put on your nose?"
The blonde replies, "Well, I wanted to sniff some coke to see what the big deal was, and I got an ice cube stuck up my nose."

I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American ad campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux." The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax" depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, "ko-kou-ko-le," which can be loosely translated as "happiness in the mouth." In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead." Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin' good" came out as "eat your fingers off." The American slogan for Salem cigarettes, "Salem - Feeling Free," got translated more...

Three clergymen were sitting in a boat, fishing.
"I'm thirsty," said the first. "I'm gonna go get myself a Coke." So he got out of the boat, walked across the water, and came back with his Coke.
"Ooh, that looks good," said the second and got out of the boat. He walked across the water, got his Coke, and came back.
"You're right," said the third. "I think I'll get one too." He steps out of the boat and sinks like a rock.
"Hey," said the first clergyman to the second, "should we tell him where the rocks are?"

A sardar had arrived early at the stadium for the first cricket game of the series between local rival teams only to realize that he had left his ticket at home. Not wanting to miss any of the first inning, he went to the ticket booth and got in a long line for another seat. After an hour's wait he was just a few feet from the booth when a voice called out, "Hey, Balbir!"
He looked up, stepped out of line and tried to find the owner of the voice-with no success. Then he realized he had lost his place in the line, and had to go back to the end of the line and wait all over again. After he had purchased his ticket, he was thirsty, so he went to buy a coke. The line at the concession stand was also very long. But since the game hadn't started he decided to wait. Just as he got to the window, a voice called out'Hey, Balbir!"
Again He tried to find the voice and got out of line as he wandered looking for the owner of the voice. But no luck.
He was very upset more...