Co-workers Jokes / Recent Jokes

A few of Darren's co-workers invited him out for a few drinks after work. Darren declined, explaining that his wife didn't like him to go out drinking with the guys. One of the co-workers suggested a way to overcome the problem. "When you get home tonight," he said, "sneak into the bedroom, slide down under the sheets, gently pull down your wife's panties, and give her oral sex. She'll love it. Trust me, she'll never complain about you being out late with the boys again."
Darren thought about it and decided to give it a try. He went out with the guys and had a great time.
When he got home late that night, he did just as his co-worker had suggested. His wife moaned and groaned with pleasure. After a while, he realized that he had to take a leak, so he whispered that he'd be right back, got out of bed and headed to the bathroom.
When he opened the bathroom door, he was shocked to see his wife sitting there. "How did you get in here so quickly?" more...

1) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
2) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you.
3) Make up nicknames for all your co-workers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Chachie."
4) Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
5) Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as often since you did this.
6) While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive. Call everyone Madge.
7) Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee, a printout, or whatever, slap yourself at random the whole way.
8) Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day more...

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
FROM: Human Resources
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be no longer tolerated.
We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers, therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.
SO...
TRY SAYING
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF
When the fuck do you expect me to do this?
TRY SAYING
I'm certain that is not feasible.
INSTEAD OF
No fucking way!!
TRY SAYING
Really?
INSTEAD OF
You've got to be more...

Little Johnny Clever was in Mrs. Gleason's 3rd grade class for just a couple of weeks when he ran home to his mom and showed her a little 3x3 piece of paper. It had the word "Homework" crossed out in a circle with a slash (the very same you see with no smoking signs)
"What is this?" The mother said inquiringly.
"Its a no homework pass mommy! I raised my hand the most in class. All you have to do is sign it and I dont have to do any homework for tonight!" says Johnny excitedly!
'Well thats a good thing to keep kids interested in the subject and class participation. I bet this teacher's been teaching for quite a while!' thought his mother as she signed the slip for him.
So the next day Johnny comes home again just as excited. He won another no homework pass. His mother was starting to be very proud. This happened every day for the whole nine weeks.
On report card day, Johnny came home with a D and she started to wonder if maybe he more...

The family picture is on His desk - Ah, a solid, responsible family man.
The family picture is on Her desk - Um, her family will come before her career.
His desk is cluttered - He's obviously a hard worker and a busy man.
Her desk is cluttered - She's obviously a disorganized scatterbrain.
He is talking with his co-workers - He must be discussing the latest deal.
She is talking with her co-workers - She must be gossiping.
He's not in the office - He's meeting a customer.
She's not in the office - She must be out shopping.
He's having lunch with the boss - He's on his way up.
She's having lunch with the boss - They must be having an affair.
The boss criticized Him - He'll improve his performance.
The boss criticized Her - She'll be very upset.
He got an unfair deal - Did he get angry?
She got an unfair deal - Did she cry?
He's getting married - He'll get more settled.
She's getting married - She'll get pregnant more...