Cleric Jokes

A senior Iranian cleric says women who wear immodest clothing and behave promiscuously are to blame for earthquakes. In related news, President Obama will be dispatching Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Pamela Anderson to Iran to destroy its nuclear facilities.

cleric found himself wondering whether there were any golf courses in Heaven. He even began to ask the question in his prayers. One day, in answer to his prayers, he received a direct answer from on high.

"Yes," said the Heavenly messenger, "There are many excellent golf courses in Heaven. The greens are always in first class condition, the weather is always perfect and you always get to play with the very nicest people."

"Oh, thank you," said the cleric, "That really is marvellous news."

"Yes, isn't it?" replied the messenger, "And we've got you down for a foursome next Saturday."

Forgive me, Father," the embarrassed bachelor told his confessor. "I made love to a beautiful virgin last night."
"That's terrible," the cleric groaned. "Was it Cynthia Goodrich?"
"Please don't ask me that," the fellow pleaded.
"Was it the Carruthers girl?" the man of the cloth prodded him.
"I don't want to answer," he insisted.
"Well, was it Susan Fullerton?" the priest demanded.
"I simply refuse to tell you," the young chap declared firmly.
"All right, my son," the cleric sighed. "For admitting your guilt, you are forgiven, but you'd better see me again next week."
Leaving the church, the fellow met his best friend, who had waited for him outside. "How did your confession go?" the friend inquired.
"Not bad," the bachelor replied. "I got a week off and three new leads."

An Australian Muslim cleric has urged children to be martyrs for Islam and referred to Jews as pigs in a series of DVDs, sparking condemnation by the government and further straining tensions with the nation’s Muslims.

Australia’s ethnic leaders including Muslims, called for Feiz to face possible racial hatred charged for his speeches, the Australian government condemned his comments, and Mel Gibson took him out for drinks.