Clergy Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.

    As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts and shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

    The next morning, they went to the beach, dressed in their "tourist" garb and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery.

    Presently, a "drop dead gorgeous" blonde in a tiny bikini came walking straight toward them. They couldn't help but stare.

    As she passed them she turned, smiled, and said: "Good morning father, good morning father." Nodding and addressing each of them individually.

    They were both stunned; how in the world were they recognized as priests?

    They went back to the store, bought even more outrageous outfits and again they settled on the beach in their chairs more...

    BaptistryA church's swimming pool. Designed by a finance committee
    with a concern for cutting costs.
    Blind FaithObsolete phrase meaning visually challenged faith.
    BurnoutWhen clergy start preaching from the telephone book. The
    result of extreme overwork or excessive stress. Hiding the telephone
    book is not a sufficient treatment.
    CampingA specialized ministry traditionally offered in the
    summertime. Often directed at young people. Theologically, it has the
    potential to teach valuable lessons about the Israelites' 40 years in
    the wilderness. This is usually thwarted by the tendency of churches
    to place their camps in swamps, rather than deserts.
    Candlelight ServicesA time when otherwise sensible choirs wander
    around in darkened churches singing with fire in their hands. Not
    surprisingly, this has been known to affect the quality of music.
    Canon LawAn ancient arms limitation treaty.
    CassockShort for "clergy hassock". more...

    Two men in Ireland are digging a ditch, which happens to be directly across the street from a brothel. Suddenly, they see a protestant minister walk up to the front door of the house of ill repute, look around, and finally go inside.
    "Ah, will you look at that," says one of the ditchdiggers to the other, "What is our world coming to when holy men are frequenting prostitutes? It's a damn shame."
    A few minutes later, a rabbi walks up to the door of the brothel and walks in.
    "Can you believe what we're seeing here John?" says the ditchdigger. "Why, it's no wonder the youth today are so confused. The example the clergy is setting is bloody shameful."
    Next a Catholic priest enters the whorehouse.
    "Ah, what a pitty," says the ditchdigger to his friend, "one of the poor ladies must be dyin'."

    Seen on a parking space in a church's parking lot in Edinburgh, IN
    "Clergy parking only - you park, you preach!"

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