Classes Jokes / Recent Jokes
Freshmen: Are never in bed past noon.
Seniors: Are never out of bed before noon.
Freshmen: Read the syllabus to find out what classes they can cut.
Seniors: Read the syllabus to find out what classes they need to attend.
Freshmen: Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall.
Seniors: Brings a jumbo hoagie and six-pack of Mtn. Dew into a recitation class.
Freshmen: Calls the professor "Professor."
Seniors: Calls the professor "Bob."
Freshmen: Would walk ten miles to get to class.
Seniors: Drives to class if it's further than three blocks away.
Freshmen: Memorizes the course material to get a good grade.
Seniors: Memorizes the professor's habits to get a good grade.
Freshmen: Knows a book-full of useless trivia about the university.
Seniors: Knows where the next class is. Maybe...
Freshmen: Shows up at a morning exam clean, perky, and fed.
Seniors: Shows up at a morning exam in sweats with a cap on and a box of more...
TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR KID IS TAKING DWEEBONICS CLASSES
10. They tilt their head sideways to smile.
9. When you ground them, they say, "Your UI could really use some work."
8. They say, "My dad can beat your dad at Quake."
7. Instead of laughing, they say, "LOL."
6. They insult kids by saying, "And you've got limited bandwidth!"
5. They change the answering machine message to "BRB, leave your URL, and we'll TTYL."
4. This is how they ask someone out on a date: "Umm, uh, well...see ya!"
3. Calling from camp, your homesick child says, "I'm roaming outside my service area!"
2. When you ask if they've finished their book report, they say, "It's in beta, but it'll ship in time."
1. You're telling them something they don't want to hear. They're saying, "NAK, NAK, NAK" the whole time.
Mr. Clemenceau posted a sign in the classroom stating, "Because of a conference, Mr. Clark will not teach his classes tomorrow."
One of his smart-alecky pupils erased the "c" in classes. Aware of such student pranks, Mr. Clark then erased the "L."
A Master Thief in London was giving a Coaching Class on Stealing and had students from all over the world. The Indian happened to be a Sardar. After several grueling classes on Theory came the final and decisive class of all, a practical demo.
The master took all his pupils to a house nearby in the darkness of night and entered that. But by mistake he overturns a vase.
Owner: Who's that?
Master: Miaooow...
The owner is satisfied and goes back to sleep. Mission accomplished.
The Sardar is very impressed. Returning to Punjab, he decides to open a similar class for his fellow Sardars. Does so and follows the same schedule of theory classes.
Then he goes for the demo with his pupils. Enters the house of a rich Sardar in darkness, and tells the other Sardars, " These are the various steps for stealing. You just observe. " Firstly, he goes and overturns a vase.
Owner: Koun Hai? ( Who's that? more...
* You've never met any celebrities.
* Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
* "Vacation" means driving through the Amanas or going to Adventureland.
* You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
* You measure distance in minutes.
* Down south to you means Kentucky.
* You know several people who have hit a deer.
* You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Terre Haute."
* Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
* Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
* You know where all the Yoders live.
* You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
* You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
* You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
* You know what's knee-high by more...
TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR KID IS TAKING DWEEBONICS CLASSES They tilt their head sideways to smile. When you ground them, they say, "Your UI could really use some work." They say, "My dad can beat your dad at Quake." Instead of laughing, they say, "LOL." They insult kids by saying, "And you've got limited bandwidth!" They change the answering machine message to "BRB, leave your URL, and we'll TTYL." This is how they ask someone out on a date: "Umm, uh, well... see ya!" Calling from camp, your homesick child says, "I'm roaming outside my service area!" When you ask if they've finished their book report, they say, "It's in beta, but it'll ship in time." You're telling them something they don't want to hear. They're saying, "NAK, NAK, NAK" the whole time.
A Master Thief in London was giving a Coaching Class on Stealing and had students from all over the world. The Indian happened to be a Sardar. After several grueling classes on Theory came the final and decisive class of all, a practical demo. The master took all his pupils to a house nearby in the darkness of night and entered that. But by mistake he overturns a vase. Owner: Who's that? Master: Miaooow... The owner is satisfied and goes back to sleep. Mission accomplished. The Sardar is very impressed. Returning to Punjab, he decides to open a similar class for his fellow Sardars. Does so and follows the same schedule of theory classes. Then he goes for the demo with his pupils. Enters the house of a rich Sardar in darkness, and tells the other Sardars, " These are the various steps for stealing. You just observe. " Firstly, he goes and overturns a vase. Owner: Koun Hai? ( Who's that? ) Sardar: Mai Billi. ( I am the cat.) Owner: Oh, Billi ( Oh. Cat.) and goes back to sleep.