Freshman Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    IN America's dozen Ivy League Universities, on top of the list come Yale and Harvard or perhaps Harvard followed by Yale. By and large America does not have an upper class accent distinct from that of commoners as is heard in England. The only exception is Harvard which has imbibed some of Boston's
    Brahmanical air of superiority by its distinct upper class speech.

    This one is told of a freshman who asked a senior student: "Can you tell me where the library is at?"

    The senior snubbed him, "At Harvard, we never end a sentence with a preposition."

    The freshman had a second go: "Can you tell me where the library is at, you asshole?"

    A jumbo-sized freshman went to try out for the football team. The coach asked him if he could tackle and he said, "Hell yah, get a load of this!" And with that knocked over a telephone pole as if it were made of balsa wood.The coach was dumbfounded and asked if the boy could run, to which the boy replied, "Hell yah!" and he sprinted from endzone to endzone like lightning.The coach stood there with his mouth agape to see such a huge boy run so fast. He finally composed himself and said, "But can you pass a football?"The freshman stopped to think for a few seconds, then said, "Hell yah, if I can swallow it, I can surely pass it!"

    1. In high school, you do homework. In college, you study.
    2. No food is allowed in the hall in high school.
    In college, food must be provided at an event before students will come.
    3. In high school, you wear your backpack on one shoulder; in college, on both.
    4. In college, the professors can tell you the answer without looking at
    the teacher's guide.
    5. In college, there are no tardy slips.
    6. In high school, you have to live with your parents. In college, you
    get to live with your friends.
    7. In college, you don't have to wait in a certain lunch line to be cool.
    8. Only nerds e-mailed in high school. (Cool kids hadn't heard of it.)
    9. In high school, you're told what classes to take. In college, you get to
    choose; that is, as long as the classes don't conflict and you have the
    prerequisites and the classes aren't closed and you've paid your tuition.
    10. In high school, if you screw up you can usually sweet-talk your more...

    A jumbo-sized freshman went to try out for the football team. The coach asked him if he could tackle and he said, "Hell yah, get a load of this!"

    And with that knocked over a telephone pole as if it were made of balsa wood.

    The coach was dumbfounded and asked if the boy could run, to which the boy replied, "Hell yah!" and he sprinted from endzone to endzone like lightning.

    The coach stood there with his mouth agape to see such a huge boy run so fast. He finally composed himself and said, "But can you pass a football?"

    The freshman stopped to think for a few seconds, then said, "Hell yah, if I can swallow it, I can surely pass it!"

    Freshmen: Are never in bed past noon.
    Seniors: Are never out of bed before noon.
    Freshmen: Read the syllabus to find out what classes they can cut.
    Seniors: Read the syllabus to find out what classes they need to attend.
    Freshmen: Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall.
    Seniors: Brings a jumbo hoagie and six-pack of Mtn. Dew into a recitation class.
    Freshmen: Calls the professor "Professor."
    Seniors: Calls the professor "Bob."
    Freshmen: Would walk ten miles to get to class.
    Seniors: Drives to class if it's further than three blocks away.
    Freshmen: Memorizes the course material to get a good grade.
    Seniors: Memorizes the professor's habits to get a good grade.
    Freshmen: Knows a book-full of useless trivia about the university.
    Seniors: Knows where the next class is. Maybe...
    Freshmen: Shows up at a morning exam clean, perky, and fed.
    Seniors: Shows up at a morning exam in sweats with a cap on and a box of more...

  • Recent Activity