Civil Jokes / Recent Jokes

A scholar was preparing to take the civil examinations. His wife was very puzzled by his constant worrying. "Look at you, you worthless wretch," she said. "Your probably think that it's more difficult for a man to write an essay than for a woman to give birth to a child." "How's that?", she asked. "You women can bear children easily because you carry the child in your stomach", the scholar said. "But I have nothing in my head, so how do you expect me to think of something to write?"

Bush also refuses to refer to Iraq as a civil war. It pisses me off, but I'm not surprised: the White House still refers to the American Civil War as the "War of Northern Aggression."

Three engineering students were discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It had to be a mechanical engineer, look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it had to be an electrical engineer, the nervous system is just a marvel of millions of electrical connections."
The third said, "Actually, it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline right through a recreational area?"

Q: What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
A: Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.

This story, highlights the humiliations civil servants have to suffer at the hands of ministers.
There was this civil servant who retired after 40 years of slogging in his office. He rented a small cottage near a village and went into a self-imposed Vanprastha. The villagers became very curious about him. But all they saw was that every morning a boy came to his door, rang the bell and spoke a sentence. The civil servant replied with a sentence and handed him a coin. When curiosity got the better of the village folk, they approached the boy and asked him what passed between them:' Nothing much", replied the lad.' He's hired me to ring his bell and say to him: "Sir, the Minister wants to see you!" And he replies: "Tell the bloody Minister to bugger off." For this he pays me ten pence a time.'

How many civil engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to do it and one to steady the chandelier.

Senator John Warner spoke on Face the Nation about how America needs to consider any strategy except one that would “let Iraq fall into a civil war.” FALL into civil war? That’s like saying we can’t “let Tara Reid FALL into a state of drunken whoredom”. Frankly, the window of opportunity has already passed.