Citizens Jokes / Recent Jokes

(Forwarding this gem from one of my discussion groups. Nearly laughed my Byrd off. The poster could neither confirm nor deny authorship.)
Internet Response to the Communications Decency Act
With the passing of the Communications Decency Act, we urge all people wishing to use electronic communications, but forced to limit their language and thus risk confusion, to consider using the following list of substitute words, which we feel the Senators involved will be reluctant to ban or censor:
Byrd:Noun:The posterior or hinder parts, specifically the anus.
Coats:Noun:Excrement, or as a verb to excrete.
Exon:Verb:To copulate with, the act of copulation.
Gorton:Noun:The female genitals, or specifically the vagina.
Gramm:Verb:To achieve orgasm. Also colloquially used as a noun.
Heflin:Noun:The female secondary sexual characteristics.
Helms:Noun:The male phallus.
An example of this usage might be as follows:
"'Exon me !', she cried, as more...

Once upon a time in India, the Bengal tiger was on the brink of extinction, due to a vigorous hunting season. So, Prince Naranjahah ordered that no one shall kill another Bengal. Well, this led to the over abundance in zoos and animal shelters, and one day, the tigers broke loose and started attacking the citizens. The citizens then revolted and overthrew the Prince's rule.
This is the first known instance of the reign being called on account of the game.

ATTENTION:
All citizens of Arkansas planning a trip to Washington, D.C. to visit Willy Jeff
1. Before leaving for Washington, clean red mud from windshields and remove hog and chicken feed from pick-up bed.
2. Any cardboard box can be made to look like a suitcase if brown shoe polish is smoothly applied. Boxes must have tops, but no ropes. When a few miles out of Arkansas, remove overalls and brogans and putt them into your box. Change to Sunday suit, clean shirt and good shoes (wear socks).
3. Limit occupancy of your car or pickup to a reasonable number of riders. It looks country to overload a vehicle.
4. Those going on their tractors should leave three weeks early. Remember to drive on the right side of the road at all times, except when passing an older tractor or a buddy in a wagon.
5. En route always buy a full tank of gas. A dollar's worth at a time requires too many gas stops.
6. On arrival in Washington, immediately get settled in a tourist or more...

ATTENTION :All citizens of Arkansas planning a trip to Washington, D.C. to visit Willy Jeff1. Before leaving for Washington, clean red mud from windshields and remove hog and chicken feed from pick-up bed.2. Any cardboard box can be made to look like a suitcase if brown shoe polish is smoothly applied. Boxes must have tops, but no ropes. When a few miles out of Arkansas, remove overalls and brogans and putt them into your box. Change to Sunday suit, clean shirt and good shoes (wear socks).3. Limit occupancy of your car or pickup to a reasonable number of riders. It looks country to overload a vehicle.4. Those going on their tractors should leave three weeks early. Remember to drive on the right side of the road at all times, except when passing an older tractor or a buddy in a wagon.5. En route always buy a full tank of gas. A dollar's worth at a time requires too many gas stops.6. On arrival in Washington, immediately get settled in a tourist or boarding house. If they don't feed, more...