Chretien Jokes / Recent Jokes
THE ORIGINAL VERSIONThe ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.MODERN CANADIAN VERSIONThe ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come the winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.The CBC shows up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. Canadians are stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that, in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to more...
Bush, Jean Chretien, the Pope and an eight year old girl are in a plane. Suddenly, the pilot says that plane has some malfunctions and they have to jump out. There were only three parachutes so Bush grabs one, puts it on and says "I am an important person, the American people depend on me!" and jumped. Jean Chretien picks one up and says "I am an important person, the Canadian people depend on me!" and jumped. The Pope turns to the little girl and says "You jump. I have lived my life!" But the little girl says "We can both jump, Jean Chretien jumped with my backpack!"
PRESS RELEASE: Prime Minister of Canada to Visit Washington Statement by the Press Secretary President Bush and Prime Minister John Chretien of Canada met on Sept. 24th with the Canadian Leader strongly supporting the war on terrorism. Prime Minister Chretien issued the following statement: CANADIANS WILL HELP AMERICA WITH THE WAR ON TERRORISM! WE HAVE PLEDGED:- 2 BATTLE SHIPS,- 600 GROUND TROOPS,- 6 FIGHTER JETS. AFTER THE AMERICAN EXCHANGE RATE, THEY WILL END UP WITH:- 2 CANOES,- 6 MOUNTIES,- AND A BUNCH OF FLYING SQUIRRELS
President Bill Clinton called Chretien with an emergency: Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the American President cried, "My people's favorite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!""Bill, da Canadian pipple would be 'appy to do anyt'ing wit'in der power to 'help you," replied the Prime Minister."I do need your help," said Clinton. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tide us over?""Certainment! I get right on it!" said Chretien."Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Clinton."Oui?""Could the condoms be red, white & blue in color, at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Clinton."No problem," replied the Prime Minister and, with that, Chretien hung up and called the President of Trojan Condoms."I need a favor, you got to make 1,000,000 condoms right away and send 'dem to Hamerica.""Consider it done," said the President of more...
THE ORIGINAL VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
MODERN CANADIAN VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come the winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
The CBC shows up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. Canadians are stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that, in a country of such more...