Chopper Jokes

While practicing auto-rotations during a military night training exercise a Huey Cobra screwed up the landing and landed on the tail rotor.
The landing was so hard that it broke off the tail boom. However, the chopper fortunately remained upright on its skids, sliding down the runway doing 360s.
As the Cobra slid past the tower, trailing a brilliant shower of sparks, this was the radio exchange that took place...
Tower: "Sir, do you need any assistance?"
Cobra: "I don't know, tower, we ain't done crashin' yet."

Steven Spielberg was filming his latest movie deep in the heart of the Amazon rain forest. The costs involved in transporting the multitude of movie making equipment to the site were immense. On top of that, he had a cast of thousands to feed and clothe. It was his most expensive production yet and he sank his entire personal fortune into the project.
The biggest expense was building an exact replica of an Ancient city in the middle of the jungle. No expense was spared to make the city authentic.
The climax of the movie was to be the complete destruction of the city in a dramatic fire. Since Spielberg planned to actually burn the city to the ground, there was only one chance to film it. He set up four cameras:
"Camera one, I want you up in the helicopter to get an overhead shot of the whole scene."
"Yes, boss."
"Camera two, I want you at the edge of the clearing for a medium range shot."
"Yes, boss."
"Camera more...

How many Price Chopper employees does it take to wash a table?
Three; one to wash it and two to supervise.

"How much for a roast beef sandwich?" asks Little Feenie Finkelstein, standing in Chicken Chopper's Sandwich Shop.

"Two dollars," replies Chicken Chopper, from behind the counter.

"How much for a cheese sandwich?" asks the little Jew.

"One dollar," replies Chicken.

"What about a ham sandwich?" asks Feenie. But before Chicken Chopper can reply there is a loud clap of thunder in the sky overhead.

Feenie Finkelstein falls to his knees, looks up at the sky and prays out loud, "Okay! Okay! -- I was only asking!"