China Jokes / Recent Jokes

The people of China are most saddened by the passing of their beloved leader, Deng Xiaoping. In fact, they've decided to name the automobile produced at the new Volkswagen factory in Beijing after him. It will be called "The Deng Beetle." The current power establishment is already downplaying his significance in China's history, as evidenced by the latest official press release titled "Deng wasn't shit!".

I have always been a critic of Seattle driving, but recently I had a chance to see how others drive in far away countries, such as China. Since then, I have developed a profound respect for how we drive here in the Northwest. Why? What could be so bad about the driving in China? Here is a collection of short observations I have made riding in the Great Country of China. While Driving in China........................... Traffic signals are (how should I put it...) optional. Right of way is determined by vehicle weight. On any given street every car is driving parallel, but none will be driving co-linear. In taking any 3 consecutive Chinese drivers, 1 will be driving over the median. In merging lanes, Chinese drivers feel the need to drive neck and neck until the last moment when one finally chickens out. Whenever a Chinese person crosses the street by foot, he will not consider such meaningless factors as how many cars are on the road, or how fast they are going. If while crossing the more...

Why is there no Disneyland in China? No one`s tall enough to go on the good rides.

According to a law in China, you must be intelligent to go to college. Guess the guy who wrote this did NOT go to college.

I eat an awful lot of Chinese food for someone who's not Chinese. You seldom see Chinese people eating Jewish food. There's a huge trade inbalance there.

Chinese food is SO beautiful! Even the names are beautiful.

The other night I got a dish called "Seven Precious Treasures on a Bed of Jade".

I didn't know whether to eat it or sell it on ebay.

Dr. Pepper promised a can of their product to everyone in America if Guns'n Roses releases their new album "Chinese Democracy" in 2008.

But to Axl who ripped apart something great by running off Slash... Mr. Pibb for you.

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George Bush: "Condoleeza! Nice to see you. What's happening?" Condoleeza Rice: "Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China."
George: "Great. Lay it on me."
Condoleeza: "'Hu' is the new leader of China."
George: "That's what I want to know."
Condoleeza: "That's what I'm telling you."
George: "That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?"
Condoleeza: "Yes."
George: "I mean the fellow's name."
Condoleeza: "Hu."
George: "The guy in China."
Condoleeza: "Hu."
George: "The new leader of China."
Condoleeza: "Hu."
George: "The Chinaman!"
Condoleeza: "Hu is leading China."
George: "Now whaddya' asking me for?"
Condoleeza: "I'm telling you Hu is leading China."
George: "Well, I'm asking more...