"Driving in China" joke
I have always been a critic of Seattle driving, but recently I had a chance to see how others drive in far away countries, such as China. Since then, I have developed a profound respect for how we drive here in the Northwest. Why? What could be so bad about the driving in China? Here is a collection of short observations I have made riding in the Great Country of China. While Driving in China........................... Traffic signals are (how should I put it...) optional. Right of way is determined by vehicle weight. On any given street every car is driving parallel, but none will be driving co-linear. In taking any 3 consecutive Chinese drivers, 1 will be driving over the median. In merging lanes, Chinese drivers feel the need to drive neck and neck until the last moment when one finally chickens out. Whenever a Chinese person crosses the street by foot, he will not consider such meaningless factors as how many cars are on the road, or how fast they are going. If while crossing the street, a Chinese bicyclist gets 4 beeps from a Bus, 3 beeps from your taxi, and 5 loud horns from a speeding truck, all while going against traffic, he will not so much as turn his head to acknowledge. Take ever gas you find in the Periodic table, Mix this with every gas you would find at a Nuclear power plant, add mustard gas, SMOG, Agent Orange, MACE, and sulfuric acid, this is was comes out of the average cars tail pipe. A one time drive while riding behind a bus, had identical health effects as 12 years of smoking. What do Chinese people drive? Hard to answer that, but try to imagine this... Gather the 100 most brilliant and renowned German Auto Engineers, get them really drunk, and give them 24 hours to build a car while wearing mittens.
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