Children Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three men are sitting next to eachother on an airplane. One japanese, one spanish, and one american.
First they fly over Japan. The japanese guy says I love my country. So he flicks out a dime.
Then they fly over Spain. The spanish guy says I love my country. So he flicks out a nickel.
Last they fly over America. The american guy says I hate my country. So he flicks out a grenade.
When the japanese guy was driving home he saw a kid crying in the street.
He asked the kid whats wrong?
My mommy got hit in the head with a dime and died.
When the spanish guy was driving home he saw a kid crying in the steet.
He asked the kid whats wrong?
My daddy got hit in the head with a nickel and died.
When the american guy was driving home he saw a kid laughing in the street.
He asked the kid whats so funny?
When I farted my whole school blew up!

A lady is giving a party for her granddaughter and has gone all out - caterer, band and a hired clown. Just before the party starts, two bums show up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman tells them that they can get a meal if they will chop some wood out back. Gratefully, they head to the rear of the house. Guests arrive, and all is going well, with the children having a wonderful time. But, the clown has not shown up and finally, the clown calls to report that he is stuck in traffic and will probably not make the party at all. The woman is very disappointed and unsuccessfully tries to entertain the children herself. She happens to look out the window and sees one of the bums doing cartwheels across the lawn. She watches in awe as he swings from tree branches, does midair flips and leaps high in the air. She speaks to the other bum and says,' What your friend is doing is absolutely marvelous. I have never seen such a thing. Do you think your friend would more...

Why did the lizard go on a diet? It weighed too much for its scales!

After eight Palestinian children were killed on Wednesday in an Israeli artillery barrage in Gaza, Hamas militants threatened to attack Americans with the remaining children.

A father and son went fishing one summer day. While they were out in the boat, the boy became curious about the world around him.
He asked his father, "Dad, how does this boat float?"
"Don't rightly know, son."
"Dad, how do fish breath underwater?"
"Don't rightly know, son."
"Dad, why is the sky blue?"
"Don't rightly know, son."
Eventually, after the boy asked his father several more questions, "Dad, do you mind me asking all these questions?"
"Of course not, son. If you don't ask questions, you never learn anything."

Little Jimmy, Little Billy, and Jimmy's father were at an Art Museum. Little Jimmy was looking at a picture of someone in a carriage being pulled by a horse.
Little Jimmy brought his father over to look at the picture, and he asked his father, "Daddy, what is this?"
His dad replied, "Why, that is a horse-drawn carriage!"
Little Jimmy excitedly ran over to Little Billy, brought him back to the picture, and said, "Billy, a horse drew this picture!!"

I only know the names of two angels. Hark and Harold.
Gregory, 5
Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear halos any more. I forget why, but scientists are working on it.
Olive, 9
It's not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to heaven, and then there's still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes.
Matthew, 9
Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do something else.
Mitchell, 7
My guardian angel helps me with math, but he's not much good for science.
Henry, 8
Angels don't eat, but they drink milk from Holy Cows!
Jack, 6
Angels talk all the way while they're flying you up to heaven. The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead.
Daniel, 9