Cheese Jokes / Recent Jokes
In the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. He was ahot, dry fly who said to no one in particular, "Gosh! If I go down threeinches I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed."There was a fish in the water thinking, "Gosh! If that fly goes down threeinches I can eat him."There was a bear on the shore thinking, "Gosh! If that fly goes down threeinches... that fish will jump for the fly... and I will eat him."It also happened that a hunter was further up the bank of the lake, preparing to eat a cheese sandwich. "Gosh!" he thought, "If that fly goesdown three inches... and that fish leaps for it... that bear will exposehimself and grab for the fish. I'll shoot the bear and then have a properlunch."You probably think this is enough activity for one bank of a lake, but Ican tell you there was more.A wee mouse by the hunter's foot was thinking, "Gosh! If that fly goes downthree inches... and that more...
Q: What do you call a guy with no legs in leaves?
A: Russle!
Q: What do you call a military coup led by General Kitchy Kitchy
A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A: A stick
Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
A: Nacho Cheese
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk
Q: What do you call Santa's helpers?
A: Subordinate Clauses
Q: What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
A: Quatro sinko
The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having adrink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, “Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me. ”
So the Doberman says, “I love liver and cheese. ” The Collie replies, “That’s not good enough. ”
The Bulldog says, “I hate liver and cheese. ” She says, “That’s not creative enough. ”
Finally, the Chihuahua says, “Liver alone. . . cheese mine. ”
One Monday morning, Grover picking up the kids along a new bus route. At the first stop, he picked up a fat little girl. Grover asked, "What's your name?" "Patty" she replied. She had a seat in the back of the bus. On the next stop there was a handicapped boy named Ross. All the kids called him "Special Ross." Then a young man named Lester Cheese loaded onto the bus, sat down, took off his shoes and began picking at his bunyons. Finally the last stop came up, and another chubby little girl got on. Grover had never met her, so he asked her her name and her name was also Patty. On the way to school, Grover looked in his mirror and began to laugh, He was thinking..."Dang, I have two obese Patty's, Special Ross, Lester Cheese picking bunyons, on a Sesame Street bus!"
A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat`s milk was used. She showed the group a lively hillside where many goats were grazing. "These," she explained, "are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce." She then asked, "What do you do in America with your old goats?" A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!
My brother Sean stopped by a sandwich shop one afternoon and placed his order with the girl at the counter. She rattled off a list of condiments, but he stopped her when she asked if he wanted white cheese or yellow.
"What's the difference?" Sean asked.
"Hello?" replied the girl, sighing and rolling her eyes. "The COLOR is different!"
Q: What do you call cheese that's not yours? A: Nacho cheese!