Carat Jokes / Recent Jokes

The beautiful secretary of the president of the Chase Manhattan Bank goes to a sight-seeing tour with a very rich Taiwanese client. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her; "Don't reject the guy outright." So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her. So, after a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75 carat diamond ring, with a matching 200 carat diamond tiara." The Taiwanese man pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says, "No problem!! I buy. I buy." Realizing that her first condition was too easy, the woman says to the man, "I want you to build me a 100 room mansion in New York. As a vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine county in France." The man pauses for awhile. He more...

After Christmas Tom and Harry were at work talking about what they bought thier wives for Christmas.
Tom says "I got my wife a 3 carat diamond ring and a brand new BMW".
Harry asked "if you got her a 3 carat diamond ring then why did you get a BMW".
"So if she didn't like the ring I knew that she would like the BMW" said Tom, "well what did you get your wife?"
Harry replies "well I got her a pair of flip flops and a dildo".
Tom laughs and askes "why did you get her a dildo?"
"Well so if she didn't like the flip flops she could go screw herself"

Shlomo and Yetta were getting ready to go out to dinner. Yetta comes out of the bedroom and says to Shlomo, “Darling, do you want me to wear this Chanel suit or shall I put on the Gucci outfit?” “What do I care?” Shlomo replies.
Yetta then asks, “Darling, shall I wear my Rolex or my Cartier watch?” “Who cares?” says Shlomo. Yetta then says to Shlomo “Darling, shall I wear my 5 carat pear or my 6 carat round diamond?” To which Shlomo responds “Hey, if you don’t get your act together, and soon, we are going to miss the Early Bird Special!”

The beautiful secretary of the president of the Chase Manhattan Bank
goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich Taiwanese client. The client
out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken
aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her; "Don't reject the
guy outright."
So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting
to marry her. So, after a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will
only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to
be a 75 carat diamond ring, with a matching 200 carat diamond tiara." The
Taiwanese man pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says "No
problem! I buy. I buy."
Realizing that her first condition was too easy, the woman says to the
man, "I want you to build me a 100 room mansion in New York. And as a
vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine more...