Canine Jokes

How does Snoop Dogg keep his canine teeth white? BLEEEEEE-YATCH!

Sheree Carroll said her Canine Coiffeurs place on West Washington Street stays busy by bathing, grooming and clipping dogs. The place is so busy that customers make appointments a year in advance.
So it was no surprise the waiting room was full recently when a woman arrived with two dogs for her scheduled appointment. She brought one of the animals into the shop and went back to her car for the second.
While she was out, one of the groomers came from the back and took the unattended dog inside for the works.
The dog, a mixed breed weighing perhaps 75 pounds, didn't appear to be the ordinary candidate for such special treatment. In fact, it appeared rather... well, not as clean as the dogs who frequent Canine Coiffeurs.
But the animal loved it -- the bath, the works. He rolled to his back and whined in ecstasy. When the groomers were finished, the brown dog was the happiest pet in the place.
When they brought the dog to the woman and prepared to pick up the more...

A man walked into the office of an eminent psychiatrist and sat down to explain his problem."Doctor, doctor! I've got this problem," the man said. "I keep hallucinating that I'm a dog. It's crazy. I don't know what to do!""A common canine complex," said the doctor soothingly. "Relax. Come here and lie down on the couch.""Oh no, Doctor," the man said nervously, "I'm not allowed up on the furniture."

If a dog bites a man, they say, it is not news, but if a man bites a dog it certainly is. Well, yesterday this incident actually happened at the Pettah bus stand, Colombo. A man bit a dog. And this is how the different sections of the Sri Lankan press reported the event.

DAILY NEWS:
UNP THUG BITES A DOG
Yesterday, an innocent dog was bitten in front of a large crowd at the Pettah bus stand, by a man, who was later identified as a supporter of the opposition leader, Mr. Ranil Wickremasinghe. Daily News learns that the dog received only minor injuries but following the immediate intervention of the President HE Chandrika Bandaranaike Kumaratunge, he was admitted to the intensive care unit of the Colombo General Hospital Canine ward. In a statement, President also condemned the attack and questioned how long the Opposition leader intends to maintain silence on the inhumanity and cruelty of his supporters over innocent animals.? We should take this act very seriously. more...