Cabbie Jokes / Recent Jokes

    A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates andannounces his presence to St. Peter, who looks him up in his Big Book. Upon readingthe entry for the cabbie, St. Peter invites him to pick up a silk robe and a golden staff andto proceed into Heaven.
    A preacher is next in line behind the cabby and has been watchingthese proceedings with interest.   He announces himself to St. Peter. Upon scanningthe preacher's entry in the Big Book, St. Peter furrows his brow and says, "Okay, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff."
    The preacher is astonished and replies, "ButI am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely Irate higher than a cabbie."
    St. Peter responded matter-of-factly: "this is heaven and, up here, we are interested in results.   When you preached, people slept.   When the cabbie drove his taxi, people prayed."

During the election campaign for the election of the American President, a campaigner from the Bush camp happened to meet his counterpart from the Clinton camp.

A conversation ensued, and expectedly, each began to boast of his methods of campaigning.

'Whenever we sit in a cab/ said the Bush supporter,' we give a few extra cents to the cabbie and ask him to vote for Bush.'

Not to be outwitted, the Clinton campaigners replied,' Whenever we take a ride in a cab, we too pay a few cents less to the cabbie, and then ask him to vote for Bush.'

A woman and her son were taking a cab in New York City. It was raining and all the hookers were standing under the awnings.
"Mommy," said the little boy, "what are all those ladies doing?"
"They're waiting for their husbands to get off of work," she replied.
The cabbie turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth? Their hookers. They have sex with men for money."
The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true, mommy?" His mother, glaring at the cabbie, answers in the affirmative.
After a few minutes, the kid asks, "Mommy what happens to the babies those ladies have?"
"They mostly become cab drivers," she replied.

A guy thought his wife was cheating on him. So he waited for her to leave that night and jumped in a cab to follow her. By following her he found out she was working in a whorehouse. The guy says to the cabbie, "Wanna make a $100?" The cabbie says, "Sure, what do I have to do?".

The guy replied that all the cabbie has to do was go inside the whorehouse and grab his wife and put her in the back of the cab and take them home. So the cabbie goes in.

A couple of minutes later the whore house gets kicked open, and the cabbie is dragging this women out who is kicking, biting, punching, and fighting all the way to the cab. The cabbie opens the door to the cab, throws the girl inside, and tells the man, "Here hold her!!"

The man looks down at the girl and says to the cabbie, "THIS AIN'T MY WIFE".

The cabbie replied, "I KNOW, IT'S MINE; I'M GOING BACK IN FOR YOURS!!"

A nun gets into a cab in New York. She demurely says in a small, high, voice, "Could you please take me to Times Square?"
In a thick Brooklyn accent the cabbie initiates conversation, "Hey sista, that' s kinda a long drive? You mind if we, like, chat?"
The nun says, "Why no my son, whatever is on your mind?"
The cabbie, "About dis celibacy thing, are you telling me you never think about doin' it?"
The nun, "Why certainly, my son, the thought has crossed my mind a time or two. I am of weak human flesh you understand."
The cabbie, "Well, woulda ever consider, you know, doin'it?"
The nun, "Well, I suppose under certain conditions, in a very unique circumstan ce, I might consider it."
The cabbie, "Well what would dose conditions happen to be?"
The nun, "Well he'd have to be Catholic, unmarried and well, certainly, he coul d have no children."
The cabbie, more...

In New York City last week a taxi clipped a red Beetle while veering across four lanes of traffic to pick-up a fare. The two drivers got out to examine the damage the cabbie a short man of Middle Eastern origin,
the Beetle driver a hulking giant.

As the cabbie approached, the Beetle driver grabbed him by the shirt and hoisted him off the ground. There, at eye level with the cabbie's feet dangling in the air, the Beetle owner began screaming, every third
sentence being, "This is your lucky day!"

Eventually, the cabbie was lowered back to terra firma, but, then, the Beetle guy asked, "Don't you want to know why this is your lucky day?" He then proceeded to answer his own question:

"Because I'm on my way to anger management class and I don't dare show-up with blood on my shirt!"

A Texan, while visiting Toronto, found himself in the back seat of a taxi cab on the way to his hotel. Passing by the Royal York the Texan asked the cab driver "What's that building there?" "That's the Royal York Hotel" replied the cabbie. "The Royal York? How long did it take to build that?" asked the Texan. "About 12 years" replied the cabbie.
"12 years? We build 'em twice as high, twice as wide and four times as long down in Texas, and we do that in six months."
A while later the cab driver makes his was past the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre. "What's that building over there?" asked the Texan. "That's the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre" replied the cabbie. "Convention Centre? How long'd it take to build that?" asked the Texan. "About three years" replied the cabbie. "Three years? We build 'em twice as high, three times as long and four times as wide as that down in Texas, and more...