Cabbage Jokes / Recent Jokes

There is a cabbage a cucumber and a penis on a shelf. One day the cucumber is crying so the other two ask what is wrong. He says when I get big fat and juicy I get chopped in half and I get eaten and the other two say there really sorry for him.
The next day the cabbage is really upset so the other two go over and ask what is wrong. He says when I grow big fat and juicy I get chopped into lots of little pieces and get eaten. And the other two are really upset for him.
The next day the penis is crying his eyes out so the cabbage and cucumber go over and ask what is wrong and he says when I get big fat and juicy I get a rubber tent shoved over my head get rammed into a dark hole and get bounced off the walls until im sick.

An Irishman, a Mexican and an Alabama redneck were doing construction
work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating
lunch and the Irishman said, " Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef
and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump
off this building."
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I
get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
The Alabama redneck opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I
get a bologna sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."
Next day - The Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and
cabbage and jumps to his death. the Mexican opens his lunch, sees a
burrito and jumps too. The Alabama redneck opens his lunch, sees the
bologna and jumps to his death also.
At the funeral - The Irishman's wife is weeping. She says, "If I'd
known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I more...

Fourth-grader Gage Rothlingshofer won a $1,000 scholarship for growing cabbage.
Over 1.2 million students planted and took care of their owncabbage plants. One winner was selected from each state to wina $1,000 scholarship. Gage won in Pennsylvania, having grown the best cabbage based on size and appearance.
Gagelives in Heidelberg Township and helps out in his mom's garden. He says he wishes to bea WWE wrestler when he grows up. He says this so the other kids won't kick his ass for growing giant cabbage with Mom in her garden.

An Irishman, a Italian and a redneck were doing construction work on the scaffolding of a tall building. They were eating lunch. The Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."
The Italian opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Pasta again! If I get pasta one more time, I'm going to jump off too."
The redneck opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."
Next day the Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Italian opens his lunch, sees pasta and jumps too. The redneck opens his lunch, sees the bologna and jumps to his death as well.
At the funeral, the Irishman's wife is weeping. She says, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"
The Italian's wife also weeps and more...

New KGB Borscht, by Chef V. Pootine 2 quarts beef stock
3 tablespoons butter
1 cup cabbage, finely chopped
1 cup potatoes, diced
1/2 cup carrots, diced
1 stalk celery, minced
1 onion, chopped
1 1/2 cups canned tomatoes
1/2 cup juice (from can of beets)
1 cup cooked or canned beets, diced
1 teaspoon vinegar
chopped dill or parsley (for garnishing)
dollop sour cream a pinch of radioactive isotope polonium-210 In a large heavy pan, melt butter and lightly sauté cabbage, potatoes, carrots, celery and onion for approximately 5 minutes. Add beef stock. Blend canned tomatoes or press through a sieve until fine. Add pureed tomatoes and beet juice to stock. Cover and simmer over low heat until vegetables are firmly tender but not soft. At this point, add the polonium-210, being careful not to get it on any exposed skin, as you will die. Season well with salt and pepper and serve with a dollop of sour cream to your least favorite person.