Bush Jokes / Recent Jokes
George W. Bush, Albert Einstein and Pablo Picasso have all died.
Due to a glitch in the mundane/celestial time-space continuum, all three arrive at the Pearly Gates more or less simultaneously, even though their deaths have taken place decades apart.
The first to present himself to Saint Peter is Einstein. Saint Peter questions him.
"You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths certain people will go to, to sneak into Heaven under false pretences. Can you prove who you really are?"
Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?" Saint Peter complies with a snap of his fingers.
The blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his special theory of relativity.
Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really 'are'Einstein! Welcome to heaven!"
The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again Saint Peter asks for his credentials. more...
In the wake of North Korea's missile tests, President Bush admitted that the U.S.'s missile defense system's abilities are "modest." For the time being, Bush is stationing Dick Cheney and his shotgun on a cruiser in the Sea of Japan.
Q: Why did Bush want to send blondes with PMS over to Iraq?A: They're mad enough to kill and they can retain water.
Once george bush, osama bin laden, musharraf, manmohan singh & a schoolboy were travelling in a plane. Suddenly, the pilot
Came and said - "this plane is about to crash. Put on your parachutes and jump!" there were only 4 parachutes. Bush said - "i
Am the president of the most powerful country in the world. I should stay alive" - and he jumped off the plane. Bin laden
Said - "i am the most dangerous terrorist in the world. I should stay alive" - and he jumped off. Musharraf said - "i am the
Greatest supporter of osama as well as bush. I should stay alive" - and he jumped off. Manmohan said to the boy - "son, there
Is only one parachute left. You are the future of our country. You jump and let me die." the boy said - "don't worry sir,
There are 2 parachutes left." "how can you say that?" "musharraf uncle took my schoolbag!"
There was a little boy and a little girl that would go every day behind
a bush after school, strip thier clothes and debate which one was better.
One day the little girl went home and asked her mom what the difference
between a boy and a girl was. The mother having a very sick mind
told her daughter that she had a garage and boy's have a fire truck.
she then said that you don't want boy's to put their fire truck
into your garage.
Well that very same day the boy aked his father
the same question. The father having a sick mind told his son that
he had a fire truck and girls have a garage. he told his son that
he should try to put his fire truck into thier garage as many times
as he could.
The next day after school they debated again. The girl went home and she went
inside. When her maother saw her she had blood all over her hands. Her mother
screamed and asked her what had happened and the little girl said that the more...
Telling the future
Bush was very curious about how the Jewish people knew everything before he did. So he called the FBI and asked them to figure it out.
One week later they came back and said, "Mr. President, the Jews have something called shabbas. They meet each other at the synagogue and use a code. They sit, they pray, and there is a word that is the key to this secret. This word is `Nu?`. When one says to another, `Nu?` the other tells him everything, every bit of news."
Bush wanted to see this for himself. So the FBI dressed him like a Hassid and taught him to read from the right to the left of the siddur. Bush arrived at a synagogue on shabbas and sat beside Issy. He waited for a moment, and said, "Nu?"
Issy answered, "Shh, don’t talk now, Bush is coming."
By a vote of 5 to 4, the Supreme Court today rescinded Vice President Al Gore's Nobel Peace Prize and awarded it to President Bush instead.
Writing for the majority, Chief Justice Roberts stated that "President George W. Bush has done more than any person in the world to demonstrate what an elusive prize peace is."