Buds Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    * If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

    * The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirt blood 30 feet.

    * Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

    * On average people fear spiders more than they do death.

    * The strongest muscle in the body is the TONGUE.

    * It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

    * You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

    * Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

    * Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.

    * Did you know that you are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider?

    * Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.

    * In ancient Egypt, Priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows more...

    Pigs are the fourth most intelligent animal in the world.
    Pig's Tongue contains 15,000 taste buds. For comparison, the human tongue has 9,000 taste buds
    Dinosaurs didn't eat grass? There was no grass in the days of the dinosaurs.
    A crocodile's tongue is attached to the roof of its mouth? It cannot move. It cannot chew but its Digestive juices are so strong that it can digest a steel nail, Glass pieces, etc
    Sharks are immune to disease i.e they do not suffer from any Disease.
    Animals are either right- or left-handed? Polar bears are always left-handed, and so is Kermit the Frog.
    Ants don't sleep.
    The eyes of the chameleon can move independently & can see in two different directions at the same time.
    Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.
    The highest kangaroo leap recorded is 10 ft and the longest is 42 ft
    Along with its length neck, the giraffe has a very long tongue - more than a foot and a half long. A giraffe can clean its more...

    We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.

    Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

    Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

    Then it' was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and more...

    Q. What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
    A. One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!
    Q. What is the difference between a female lawyer and a catfish?
    A. One's slimy and has whiskers, and the other one lives in the water.
    TRIVIA: The catfish has over 27, 000 taste buds, that makes the catfish rank #1 for animal having the most taste buds.
    Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?"
    "Why do you want me to throw them at you?"
    "Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them."
    "Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy."
    "But why?"
    "Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, more...

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