Buddhist Jokes / Recent Jokes

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist`s Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication!

There are three very rich and rather portly men who are taking a private jet across the world.
One is a buddhist monk, another is a gentleman called Prabhakaran, the third is a Thambi....
At a certain point they hear a huge rumble and the right engine catches on fire.... the plane begins to fall... and the only way they can survive is by throwing things out of the airplane to make it lighter.
Soooo... the Thambi throws out faluda, exclainimg.... We have enough of it in our country!!
Then Prabhakaran, throws out a Dosai... screaming with fear... that they he has enough of them around.
Finally the Buddhist monk picks up Prabhakaran with a big smile and throws him out of the plane....
The Thambi... slightly in surprised and in shock, asks:
"Why did u do that?"
Chuckling to himself, the Buddhist monk explains...
"Annaaay.... Veeee've definitely had more than enuv of him in our cunt tree, men!!"

What did the Buddhist ask the pizza maker? "Make me one with everything."

What do you get when you cross a Zen Buddhist and a Druid? -Someone who worships the tree that is not there.What do you get when you cross a Zen Buddhist and a Druid mathematician? -Someone who worships the square roots of the tree that is not thereWhat do you get when you cross a Zen Buddhist and a Druid veterinarian? -Someone who worships the bark of the tree that is not there.

A Western Buddhist woman was in India, studying with her teacher. She was riding with another woman friend in a rickshaw-like carriage, when they were attacked by a man on the street. In the end, the attacker only succeeded in frightening the women, but the Buddhist woman was quite upset by the event and told her teacher so. She asked him what she should have done - what would have been the appropriate, Buddhist response. The teacher said very simply, "You should have very mindfully and with great compassion whacked the attacker over the head with your umbrella."

A Buddhist and a Hindu were once good friends on the earth. When they died, they both went to heaven. Since the Buddhist arrived first, he began to show the Hindu around. The Hindu was very impressed. He asked many questions. Soon they came to a large hall. The Buddhist ordered the Hindu to be very quiet as they tiptoed past it. "Why did you ask me to be quiet when we passed that hall just now?" soon enquired the Hindu.
"Well, it's because I did not want us to be seen," explained the Buddhist. "That hall belongs to the Christians. They think they are the only ones in heaven. So I felt it better not to disillusion them."

Zen Buddhist to hotdog vendor: "Make me one with everything."