Brown Jokes / Recent Jokes

The official year 2000 Redneck Census Form: Last name: _______________________First name: (Check appropriate box)(_)Billy-Bob(_)Billy-Joe(_)Billy-Ray(_)Billy-Sue(_)Billy-Mae(_)Billy-JackWhat does everyone call you?(_)Booger(_)Bubba(_)Junior(_)Sissy(_)Other____________Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)Sex: ____ M ____ F ____Not sureShoe size: ____ Left ____ RightOccupation:(Check appropriate box)(_)Farmer(_)Mechanic(_)Hair Dresser(_)Unemployed(_)Dirty Politician(_)PreacherSpouse's Name: _____________2nd Spouse's Name: _______________3rd Spouse's Name: _______________Lover's Name: _______________Relationship with spouse:(Check appropriate box)(_)Sister(_)Brother(_)Aunt(_)Uncle(_)Cousin (_)Mother(_)Father(_)Son(_)Daughter(_)PetNumber of children living in the home: _____Number of the children living in the shed: _____Number that are yours: _____Mother's Name: ____________________(If not sure, leave blank)Father's Name: ____________________(If not sure, leave blank)Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle more...

A blonde got an invitation to a party which said "Wear brown tie only!"
After going to the party, she noticed that they were wearing pants and shirts also!

There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note: I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10, 000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A. M. Signed, The Blonde.
She pinned the note inside the little boy’s jacket and told him to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10, 000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note, “Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another! ”

The Pastor approaches his pulpit one Sunday and said, "Before we get started today I want you to know that there are rumors running rampant-I've heard that there are many of you out there been a He'n and a She'n out of wedlock-if you been then get up and get out of my church right now!"
Some couples got up and left.
Then he said, "Some of you been a He'n and He'n-I want you to get up and get out of my church right now!"
Some guys got up and left.
He says, "Some of you ladies been a she'n and she'n-leave my church right now!" Some women left.
Old Brother Brown in the back got up and was leaving.
Pastor asked, "Where you goin' Brother Brown?"
Brother Brown replied, "I know sooner or later you'll be gettin' to me'n and a me'n and I'm just gettin'a head start...

Whats brown and furry on the inside and clear on the outside? King Kong in clingfilm

Ingedients
1 teaspoon sugar
2 bottles rum
1 cup dried mixed fruit
2 cups brown sugar
1 teaspoon soda
1 cup butter
2 large eggs
1/2 cup baking powder
1 ounce lemon juice
1/2 pound mixed nuts
Before starting, sample the rum to check quality. It must be just right.
To be sure rum is of proper quality, pour level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat.
With electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 seaspoon of thugar and beat again.
Meanwhile, make sure rum is still OK all right. Try another cup. Open second bottle, ifffxx necessary.
Sample rum again.
Next, sift 3 cups pepper of salt, really doesn't matter. Sample rum. Sift 1/2 pint lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add a bablespoon of brown thugar, or whatever color you can find. Wix mel.
Greese oven. Turn cake pan to 350 degrees. Pour mess into boven and ake. Check rum and go to bed.

Every year, Bob goes hunting during bear season. One year, Bob goes hunting, and shoots a small brown bear. Then, the mother of that small brown bear comes up to him and says, " I'll give you two choices, I'll either kill you, or make love to you, but I won't let you go."

Bob thinks on this, and decides he wants to live, so the mother bear then makes love to him.

The next year, Bob goes hunting again, but this time, he shoots the mother bear that he was forced to make love to the year before. He shoots her, and her mother comes after Bob, and again, gives him the choice. "I will make love to you, or kill you, which will it be??"

Again, Bob makes love to a bear.

The next year, Bob goes once again for revenge, and kills the bear that he was forced to make love to the year before.

This time, her sister comes up to Bob and says, "You don't come here for the hunting, do you??"