Brown Jokes / Recent Jokes

As most young, weak, and smart kids are, Ken was picked on constantly by the bullies in school. They stole his lunch, they beat him up and just downright made his life miserable. It took him a couple of weeks to find a way to get back at these bullies and when he found out what would get them back, he went all out.
He was on the bus where he normally gets his lunch stolen when he brought out a bottle that had what looked like small brown balls in it. He then, making sure no one was looking, secretly took from his pocket some milk duds and started popping them in his mouth as obvious to the rest of the kids as possible making yum yum noises.
The bully, without asking, snatched the jar from Ken's hand and asked, "What's in the bottle that you are making such a big deal of?"
"Well, they're smart pills."
"Smart pills?" the bully asked, then opened the jar and popped a couple of the foreign brown balls in his mouth. more...

BROWN: Hey kids! Is half of your head shaved? Do you have a nose ring? Are you terribly progressive and do you have a lot of empathy? Are you sick and tired of silly things like grades and majors? COME TO BROWN!
COLUMBIA: Hey kids! Do you like Harlem? Do you like commuters? Are you planning on transferring to another Ivy school after your freshman year? COME TO COLUMBIA!
HARVARD: Hey kids! Do you hate teachers? I mean really hate them? Do you never want to have another teacher again? And what about a social life? Do you hate that too? COME TO HARVARD!
PRINCETON: Hey kids! Do you have any idea what an eating club is? Are you pompous? Can you learn to be? Are you the smartest person you know? How many clubs were you in high school? Have you always dreamed of living in the great state of New Jersey? COME TO PRINCETON!
PENN: Hey kids! Did you like high school a lot? How about four more years of the same? Are you dying to visit scenic West Philadelphia? Does the concept of more...

The Godfather of Soul, James Brown, died Dec. 25th of congestive heart failure. However his corpse is still scheduled to tour.
12.28.06 Apollo Theatre New York, NY
12.30.06 James Brown Theatre Augusta, GA

Two guys were out golfing and one said he was going to Doctor Brown and have a set of dentures made.
His golfing buddy commented that he did that same thing two years ago.
"How do you like your new teeth... did Doctor Brown do a good job for you?" asked his friend.
"Well, I was out golfing the other day and a golfer hooked his drive off the tee on the adjacent hole. That ball must have been going six-hundred miles an hour when it hit me in the testicles... that's the first time in two years that my teeth didn't hurt me!"
Lyle's Joke Boutique.

In a South American mining district Mrs. Brown presented her
husband with a 12 pound baby boy. Mr. Brown was so delighted
that he went to the News office and told that he had found a
12 pound nugget of gold as good as any to be found in South
America. The paper, naturally, sent a reporter to get
particulars. This is what happened:
Reporter: Does Mr. Brown live here?
Mrs. Brown: He does.
Reporter: Is he in?
Mrs. Brown: No he isn't.
Reporter: I understand he found a nugget of gold weighing 12 pounds.
Mrs. Brown: (Seeing the joke) Yes.
Reporter: Can you show me the exact location where it was found?
Mrs. Brown: I'm afraid Mr. Brown would object as it is private.
Reporter: Is the hole far from here?
Mrs. Brown: No, it is quite handy.
Reporter: Has Mr. Brown been working the claim long?
Mrs. Brown: Almost ten months.
Reporter: Was Mr. Brown the first to work it?
Mrs. Brown: He thought he more...

Martha's way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

My way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone.
Martha's way #2: Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shaped pancakes every time.

My way: Buy the precooked kind you nuke in the microwave for 30 seconds.
Martha's way #3: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

My way: Buy a mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
Martha's way #4: To prevent eggshells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard-boiling.

My way: Who cares if they crack, aren't you going to take the shells off anyway?
Martha's way #5: To easily remove burnt-on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on more...

Larry Brown reportedly had been texting Allen Iverson. Brown's plan is to slowly teach Iverson to read.