Britain Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two nuclear-armed submarines from Britain and France collided in the Atlantic Ocean recently. Authorities said the accident happened because when the Britain sub said "Marco" the French sub failed to say "Polo".

"European" Joke
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven. God went missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it,
I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while South America is going to be poor, the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, more...

THE BRITISH CONSPIRACY THEORY Just for the sake of argument, hear me out.
I have a theory. Tell me what you think of it:
Diana is alive.
The entire thing was a hoax. The World's Most Photographed Person finally
got them off her back. It took a lot of money and a great deal of
persuasion but Diana and Al-Fayed could easily have supplied both. Check
these facts out:
1. Nobody has seen any images of Diana's corpse.
2. The' eye-witnesses' who claimed to have seen the crash could very well
have been paid to say what they did.
3. The initial' suspects' were the paparazzi. If they were made to seem
responsible for the' accident' then the world would revile them and no-one
would be indecent enough to buy and publish the pictures thus assuring
that no documentary proof of the crash ever gets seen. And even if there
were pictures of Diana in a wrecked Merc they could easily have been
fabricated beforehand, what with more...

The Immense Consequences
The death under any circumstances of a member of the Royal Family would be
a cause for sadness. Had anyone made a list of those whose death might
have been anticipated, Princess Diana's name would have been last on it,
hence the worldwide shock and outpouring of grief: disbelief, anger,
analysis, sadness and perhaps the reluctant beginnings of acceptance.
Strong emotions would have been triggered had any Royal been even slightly
injured in an accident. The sudden, total loss of Diana, Princess of
Wales in a violent car crash is one of the greatest national tragedies to
befall Britain since the Second World War.
The memory of August 31, 1997 will long remain in people's minds: first
we saw the gruesome wreckage of the Mercedes after hitting an underpass
wall at high speed following a reckless chase through Paris from the Place
Vendome to the Pont De L'Alma. By strange twists of fate, the more...