Book Jokes / Recent Jokes
Three men were flying in a plane, when they decided to drop stuff on the town they were flying over. One dropped a book, one dropped a brick, and one dropped a bomb, just for fun. They then landed, to survey the damage they caused. The first thing they saw was a small child, crying and holding a book. Then they saw another small child, crying and holding a brick. Then they saw a small child laughing his head off."What's so funny?" they asked him. "It was great," he said. "I farted and my neighbor's house blew up."
1. Instead of scanning barcode on book at checkout, seductively licks the inside cover.
2. Flashes patrons and yells, "Hey! Check THIS out!"
3. No matter what book you ask for, she hands you the book "Libraries for Dummies."
4. When you ask for an appendix, (s)he winks suggestively and shows you (his)her scar.
5. Replaces the overdue book fine with canings from the "Rod of Literary Tardiness".
6. Always doing donuts with the bookmobile in the parking lot.
7. Inserts revealing photos of him/herself in copies of Gray's Anatomy.
8. Uses the "Dewer's Decimal System", which involves regular belts of scotch.
9. Instead of a simple "Shhhh," uses a bullhorn to say, "One more sound and I'm calling the cops!"
An eight year old girl is trying to check out a book entitled
"Advice for Young Mothers" from the local library.
Librarian: Now why do you want to check out this particular book, dear?
Little girl: I collect moths.
An eight year old girl tried checking a book out of the library, entitled 'Advice for Young Mothers'.
The librarian, being a typically nosey and puritanical librarian, asked, "Why do you want to check out this particular book, dear?"
The little girl replied, "Because I collect moths."
Monica Lewinsky's tell-all book about her affair with the U.S. Presidenthas, for one Winnipeg Chapters outlet, not sold all that well after itsfirst day on the shelves, as reported by CBC Radio News.To draw attention to the book, or to perhaps add some perspective, theLewinksy book had three other titles surrounding it on its display:"Divorce for Dummies""100 Ways to Leave Your Lover""How to Remove Stains"
10. Usually you can find someone to do it with.
9. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up right where you left off.
8. You can finish early without feelings of guilt or shame.
7. When you open a book, you needn't worry about who else has opened it.
6. A little coffee and you can do it all night.
5. If you don't finish a chapter, you'll never gain the reputation of a 'book teaser'.
4. You can do it, eat and watch TV, all simultaneously.
3. You don't get embarrassed if your parents interrupt you in the middle.
2. You never have to put your beer down to do it.
1. If you're unsure about what you're doing, you can always ask your roommate for help.