Bob Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two buddies Bob and Earl were two of the biggest baseball fans in America. For their entire adult lives, Bob and Earl discussed baseball history in the winter and they pored over every box score during the season. They went to 60 games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven.

One summer night, Bob passed away in his sleep after watching the Yankee victory earlier in the evening. He died happy. A few nights later, his buddy Earl awoke to the sound of Bob's voice from beyond.' Bob is that you?' Earl asked.

'Of course it me,' Bob replied.

'This is unbelievable!' Earl exclaimed.' So tell me, is there baseball in heaven?'

'Well I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?'

'Tell me the good news first.'' Well, the good news is that, yes, there is baseball in heaven, Earl.'

'Oh, that is wonderful! So what more...

Once their was a guy named Bob. His friend Chuck had just had sex with a
fab hore from the hore house. He had so much FUN! Chuck had told Bob to get a
hore if he couldn't get a woman to have sex with. Chuck had told him if he went
to the hore house, to NOT get a lady named sandpaper sally. Since he couldn't
find a woman, he went to the hore house.
When he got there, he asked the man at the desk for a hore. The man replied,"
All we have is Sandpaper sally.." So Bob said," No that's okay. I'll come back
next week." Then Bob went home and then came back next week to look for a hore.
When he got there, he asked the same question," Can I have a hore please.?" The
man at the desk said the samethang,"All we have is sandpaper sally." So Bob
replied," No. that's okay. I'll come back next week."
When he went back the hore house the next week, the man had said they only
had sandpaper more...

Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob went straight over to Joe's place. When they got to the door, Joe went straight to his wife, gave her a hug and told her how beautiful she was and how much he had missed her at work.

When it was time for supper, he complimented his wife on her cooking, kissed her and told her how much he loved her. Once they were working on the deck, Bob told Joe that he was surprised that he fussed so much over his wife. Joe said that he'd started this about 6 months ago, it had revived their marriage and things couldn't be better.

Bob thought he'd give it a go. When he got home, he gave his wife a massive hug, kissed her and told her that he loved her. His wife burst into tears. Bob was confused and asked why she was crying.

She said, "This is the worst day of my life. First, little Billy fell off his bike and twisted his ankle. Then, the washing machine broke and flooded the basement. And now, more...

Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, are vacationing in Europe; as it happens, in Transylvania.

They're driving a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It's late, and raining very hard. Bob can barely see 10 feet in front of the car.

Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail. The car swerves and smashes into a tree. Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his new wife unconscious, with her head bleeding.

Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to carry her to the nearest phone.

Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from an old, large house. He approaches the door and knocks.

A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and more...

Bob: Did you hear about the camper who was killed by a garter snake? Betty: Thats impossible. A garter snake is not poisonous. Bob: It doesnt have to be if it can make you jump off a cliff!

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard.
They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently "widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."
"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."
The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
About nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney.
It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he more...

Dick and Bob were on a hunting trip. At nightfall, Dick complained,' We've been hunting all day. We've shot at five deer - and not hit one!'' OK. Let's miss two more and then head back to camp,' said Bob.