Blonde Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been seen.

Q: Why do blondes have square boobs?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.

The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night.
[Another quarter inch doesn't impress most women.]
A sneeze zooms out of your mouth at over 600 m. p. h.
[Along with everything else in your mouth at the time.]
The condom - made originally of linen - was invented in the early 1500s.
[That same year men began asking, "Put that on my WHAT?"]
The first known contraceptive was crocodile dung, used by Egyptians in 2000 B. C.
[Does this explain Crocodile Dung Dee? ]
Watch out for flying hockey pucks - they travel at up to 100 mph.
[Stand clear or you'll get pucked.]
America's first nudist organization was founded in 1929, by 3 men.
[3 very lonely men.]
98% of American drivers think they drive better than anyone else.
[The other 2% are NY cab drivers who know better.]
When he's feeling amorous, the male sea otter grabs the female's nose with his teeth.
[When the female feel amorous, she grabs something more...

A blonde pushes her BMW into the gas station and tells the mechanic that it died. After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly.
"What's the story?" she asked.
"Just crap in the carburator," the mechanic replied.
"How often do I have to do that?" asked the blonde.

A blonde buys a box of laundry detergent, and it says on the box, "20 uses".
A day later, the blonde calls the laundry detergent company and says, "I bought your product and the box says '20 uses', but all it does is my laundry!"

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, all working for NASA, were trying to figure out where to go on the next trip. The brunette said, "We should go to Mars." The redhead said, "We should go to the Moon." The brunette and the redhead sat there arguing for a while. Suddenly, the blonde shouts, "Stop arguing! I know where the next expedition should be to. .. the Sun!" The brunette and the redhead looked at each other and started laughing. The brunette finally said, "You can't go to the Sun. You would melt or burn up before you even got close!" The blonde said, "DUH... Not if you go at night!"

Blonde Joe was a handsome young man, but definitely not the brightest guy around. Each day when he walked home from work, he would get stopped by three nasty men and they would beat him up and steal his money.
Finally, Joe decided it would be in his best interest to walk a different route, but it would also be wise to take some self-defense classes so this wouldn't happen again.
He joined a karate class and soon was doing very well with it.
One day, on his way home from work, Joe confidently decided to take his old route home and, sure enough, there were the same three thugs. He walked up to them and the battle began.
The next afternoon, Joe went to his karate class with a black eye, a broken nose and a busted lip.
His instructor was shocked and asked him what had happened.
"Well," Joe explained, "I took my old way home last night so I could beat those guys up who used to steal my money."
"So what happened?" asked his more...