Bits Jokes / Recent Jokes

3 bits of string walk into a bar and sit at a table, first bit of string offers to get the drinks in and walks up to the bar. He asks for 3 beers and the barman points to a sign saying we dont serve string. The second bit of string decides to try his luck but gets the same response from the barman. The third bit of string roughs his hair up and ties his arms to gether before going to the bar, the bar man asks are you a bit of string and he replies no sorry mate frayed knot

100 Buckets of Bits
100 buckets of bits on the bus
100 buckets of bits

Take one down, short it to ground
FF buckets of bits on the bus
FF buckets of bits on the bus
FF buckets of bits

Take one down, short it to ground
FE buckets of bits on the bus
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100 Buckets of Bits100 buckets of bits on the bus 100 buckets of bits Take one down, short it to ground FF buckets of bits on the bus FF buckets of bits on the bus FF buckets of bits Take one down, short it to ground FE buckets of bits on the bus....

AAC Alter All CommandsAAD Alter All DataAAO Add And OverflowAAR Alter At RandomAB Add BackwardsABC AlphaBetize CodeABR Add Beyond RangeACC Advance CPU ClockACDC Allow Controller to Delete ContentsACDP Allow Controller to Die PeacefullyACQT Advance Clock to Quitting TimeADB Another Dumb BugAEE Absolve Engineering ErrorsAFF Add Fudge FactorAFHB Align Fullword on Halfword BoundaryAFP Abnormalize Floating PointAFR Abort Funny RoutineAFVC Add Finagle's Variable ConstantAGB Add GarBageAGWA Add and Get Wrong AnswerAI Add ImproperAIB Attack Innocent BystanderAIB Attack Innocent BystandersAISG Access and Improve Student GradeAMM Add Mayo and MustardAMM Answer My MailAMS Add Memory to SystemANC ANnoy ConsultantAOI Annoy Operator ImmediateAR Advance RudelyAR Alter RealityARN Add and Reset to Non-zeroARN Add and Reset to NonzeroARZ Add and Reset to ZeroAS Add SidewaysASQGSA ASCII Stupid Question, Get a Stupid ANSIAT Accumulate TriviaAWP Argue With ProgrammerAWTT Assemble With Tinker ToysBA Branch more...

Bits of information to help you through the day:If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life I want to be a pig!)Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Still not over that pig thing!)Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling? And, why isn't the pig included here?)The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmm... )The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. From drinking little bottles of...?) (Did the gov't pay for this research??)Polar bears are left handed. (I'm sure glad somebody found that out!)A cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to death. ( So my ex-husband WAS a cockroach after all!)The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head more...

100 Buckets of Bits100 buckets of bits on the bus 100 buckets of bits Take one down, short it to ground FF buckets of bits on the bus FF buckets of bits on the bus FF buckets of bits Take one down, short it to ground FE buckets of bits on the bus. ...