Bitch Jokes / Recent Jokes
one day there was this boy.
and his parents were fighting.
then the mother called the father a bastard and the father called mother a bitch.
after the fight the boy asked "whats a bastard and a bitch?" then mom replied: "bastard is a boy and a bitch is a girl."
then at night the boy took something from the pillow and said to the father "whats this?" then father said "its a condom!" the boy asked "whats it for?" father said:"its a coat."
then the other day mom was in the kitchen cutting the chicken then she cut herself then said "FUCK". boy said whats a fuck? mom said "its when you cut something."
then father shaving. then he cut himself and said "SHIT" then boy asked whats a shit? dad said "its when you cut something."
then the doorbell ranged and the boy answered it.
and the boy said: Welcome bitches and bastards! may i take your condom to hang them? my more...
Yo Mama is so fat when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps!
Little Johnny was having dinner with his parents when they started to fight. The dad called mom a bitch and the mom called dad an asshole. The next sunday it was time for them to go to church. Little Johnny walked into the kitchen were his mom was making the turkey they would have for dinner. Suddenly, mom screamed out FUCK because she cut off her finger. Little Johnny asked her what fuck means and mom replied "fuck is when you cut yourself while making a turkey. Then Little Johnny went into the bathroom were his dad was shaving. Suddenly his dad screamed out SHIT because he cut himself. Little Johnny asked his dad what shit means and his dad said "shit is when you cut yourself shaving". So off to church Little Johnny went. When he got to the church the preacher ased where his parents were and Little Johnny said " the bitch is at home fucking the turkey and the asshole is shitting himself".
Woman in confession: Forgive me Father for I have sinned.
Preast: How have you sinned my child?
woman: I called my husband a "son of a bitch."
Preast: why did you do this.
woman: First, he took off my shirt.
Preast: Like this, (and he does it to her), that is no reason to call
him a son of a bitch.
woman: then he took off my pants.
Preast: Like this, that is still no reason to call him a son of a bitch.
woman then he took off my bra and panties.
Preast: you mean like this, that is no reason to call him a son of a
bitch.
woman: but then he had sex with me.
Preast: Like this.
(15 minutes later)
Preast: that is no reason to call him a son of a bitch.
woman: I know, but a week ago he told me that he had sex with another
woman and he had aids, and I have contracted it.
Preast: Well that Son of a Bitch!
Don't Forget to read the "Fine Print"
PRE-RELATIONSHIP AGREEMENT:
The party of the first part (herein referred to as "she"), being of sound mind and pretty good body, agrees to the following with the party of the second part (herein referred to as "him") being of sound mind and a bit overweight body:
1) FULL DISCLOSURE: At the commencement of said relationship (colloquially referred to as the "first date"), each party agrees to fully disclose any current girl/boyfriends, dependent children, bizarre religious beliefs, phobias, fears, social diseases, strange political affiliations, or currently active relationships with anyone else that have not yet terminated. Further, each party agrees to make known any deep-seated complexes and/or fanatical obsessions with pets, careers, and/or organized sports. Failure to make these disclosures will result in the immediate termination of said relationship before it has a more...