Bitch Jokes / Recent Jokes
A little boy comes home from school and asks his mother what a pussy is. The boy's mother gets out a dictionary and shows him a picture of a cat. The boy then asks his mom what a bitch is. The mother turns the pages until she finds a picture of a dog.
When the boy's father gets home from work, the boy asks him what a pussy is. His father gets out a Playboy, opens it up to the centerfold, and draws a circle around the Playmate's pussy. The boy then asks his father to explain what a bitch is?
The father looks at his son and says, "A bitch is everything outside the circle."
One day Ima go to New York to a Bigga Hotel. I go down to eat soma breakfast. I tella the waitress I wanna two piss toast. She branga me only onea piss. I tell her I wanna two piss. She say go to the toilet, I say no understand. I wanna two piss on the plate. She say you better no piss on the plate you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.
Later, I go to eat soma lunch at the Drake Restaurant, the waitress bring me a spoon, and a knife, but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tellsa me everybody wanna fock. I tell her, you no understand, I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me a sonna ma bitch.
So I go back to my room inna hotel, an there's no sheet on my bed. I calla the manager ana tell him I wanna sheet. He tells me go to the toliet. So I say you no understand, I wanna sheet on the bed. He say you better not sheet on the bed, you more...
Barbie's Letter To Santa:
Dear Santa,
Listen you fat little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT'S DEFINITELY PAY BACK TIME!
There had better be some change around here this Christmas, or I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you won't wanna be around to smell it). So, here's my holiday wish list for 1999, Santa.
1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and velcro up your butt?
2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to cheap more...
Q: What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
A: They can both smell it but can't eat it.
Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Q: How are twisters (tornadoes) and marriage alike?
A: They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end you lose your house.
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A: A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you.
Q: How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A: The cake jumps out of the girl.
Some U.S. state prison systems allow the use of trained attack dogs to control inmates, Human Rights Watch said in a report issued Wednesday.
Because of this, prison rape will never be the same.
Jail Bitch Getting Humped By Actual Bitch
One day, I'ma go to Malta to bigga hotel. Ina morning, I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She bring me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand . I wanna two piss onna my plate. She say you better not piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.
Later, I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress, she bring me a spoon and knife, but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand. I wanna fock onna the table. She say you better not fock onna the table, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.
So, I go back to my room inna hotel and there's no shits onna my bed. I call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit onna my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch. I don't more...