Bitch Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a kid was given a project by his teacher to find out some words at home. He went to his dad and asked his dad, he was making his bike, his dad said fuckyou bitch because something fell down he wrote that down. then he went to his little brother he was watching superman heshouted out superman superman, he wrote that down. then he went to his sister she was talking to her boyfriend she no way, he wrote that down too. the he went to his mom she was playing golfshe said 99. 99 so he wrote that down too. At last but not least he went to his neighbors house they were making hotdogs they said my buns are burning my buns are burning he wrote that down.
The next day he went back to school and the teacher asked what you learned from the boy, he said fuck you bitch the teacher said whom do you think you are he said superman, superman doyou want to go to the principals office he said no waythen th eteacher asked how many spankings do you want he said 99. 99 then after all he said my more...

Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your mother.

How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a tampon and ask him which period it came from.

What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.

What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.

What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.

What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
No one to talk to during orgasm.

Jewish dilemma:
Free PORK.

The three words most hated by men during sex:
"Are you in?"

The three words women hate to hear when having sex:
"Honey, I'm home!"

Why do men take showers instead of baths?
Pissing in the more...

A construction worker was whistling and verbally harassinga young girl as she walked by the construction site. She completely ignored him, and just kept on walking. Annoyed the worker yelled "Well you're an ugly bitch anyway!"The girl turned around and replied "It must be terrible wheneven an ugly bitch won't give you the time of day?"

Employee Name _______________ Date of Review __________________
KNOWLEDGE:
1. ____ The son of a bitch really knows his shit
2. ____ Knows only enough to be dangerous
3. ____ Only half a brain and is dangerous
4. ____ Brain damaged. His coffee cup has higher I. Q.
ACCURACY:
1. ____ Does excellent work is not preoccupied with women
2. ____ Pretty good; only occasionally blows it out his ass
3. ____ Has to take his shoes off to count higher than ten
4. ____ Couldn't count his balls and get the same number twice
ATTITUDE:
1. ____ Extremely cooperative (Kisses ass frequently)
2. ____ Brown noser in poor standing
3. ____ Often pisses off co-workers; thinks it's his job
4. ____ Doesn't give a shit, never did, never will
RELIABILITY:
1. ____ Really a dependable little cocksucker
2. ____ Can rely on him at evaluation time
3. ____ Can rely on him to be the first one out the fucking door
4. ____ more...

There is an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Ukranian and the are in their final stages of training for the FBI. The agents explained to them their final test." We have each one of your wives contained in separate cells and what you guys have to do in order to complete your FBI training is you have to prove your loyalty. You must grab that gun and go into your wifes cell and kill her." The englishman grabbed the gun. "Man I hate that bitch. She is going to get it good." He walked off into the cell and was in there for about a minute. There was just silence. He came out crying, "We've been maried too long. I just cant do it." So he was booted out. The frenchman grabbed the gun. "If I must, I must." He went into his wifes cell for about a minute and there was silence. He came walking out crying, "I love her too much. I just can't do it." So he was booted out. So the ukranian grabbed the gun and stormed into his wifes cell. "That more...

A man accused of robbing a bank was tried for the final time and was found guilty. Just before he was taken away, the man looked the judge in the eye and said, "Would it be okay if I called you a son of a bitch?"

The judge's face went red and he roared, "It most certainly would not! I'd add another two years onto your sentence!"

The defendant nodded and then asked, "Would it be okay if I THOUGHT you were a son of a bitch?"

The judge was becoming very annoyed but replied, "Yes, I suppose that would be okay. I obviously have no control over your thoughts."

The defendant smiled and said, "Well, in that case, judge, I think you are a son of a bitch!"

What has this world come to? People are so triflen these days...how come they let a bitch with small boobs work at Hooters, but they wouldnt let a bitch with one leg work at IHOP!!