Bitch Jokes / Recent Jokes

young billy over heard his parents fighting while getting ready for a party. his dad called his mom a bitch and his mom called his dad a bastard.and billy said mom wuts a bitch and a bastard? and his mom said a bitch is a lady and a bastard is a man. next he went outside and heard his neighbor say put your hot dog in my hot dog bun. and billy said mom whats a hot dog and a hot dog bun? a hot dog buns a hat and a hot dog is a coat. next he went upstairs and heard his dad say shit. and he said shit cause he cut himself. and billy said whats shit? and his dad said shit is a kind of shaving cream.then he went downstairs. his mom said fuck while she was cutting the turkey. and he said whats fuck.? and she said it was a way of cutting the turkey.then the door bell rang and she said go greet the guests. ok said billy. when he opened the door he said hi bitches and bastards, may i take your hot dogs and hot dog buns, my dads upstairs wiping the shit off his face and my moms fucking the turkey.

A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road.
As they pass each other the woman leans out of her window and yells,
'PIG'.
The man immediately leans out his window and screams back,
'BITCH'.
They continue on their way. As the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.

Wouldnt it be nice to tell the Dean of your college what you REALLY think about him/her? Well, if you like your Dean as much as I like my Dean, then youd better keep your mouth shut. I knew Id get kicked out of the college if I expressed my true feelings, so I remained silent for the last four years. But yesterday was my graduation. And as I walked across the stage, the Dean handed my diploma to me (nicely scrolled and tied with a ribbon). Once she handed it to me, I could finally tell that bitch what I REALLY thought about her. So I leaned across her podium and I looked her straight in the eye."Hey Bitch," I said. "Youre so damn ugly, you could practice birth control just by leaving the lights on!"And then I walked off the stage, and went home. I gotta tell you that it felt just as good as I had imagined it would for the last four years. Today, I unwrapped my diploma, fr amed it, and hung it in the living room, where it proudly exclaims to the world: "In more...

Q. What's the difference between a pay cheque and your dick?
A. You don't have to beg a woman to blow your pay cheque.
Q. How is a woman like a laxative?
A. They both irritate the shit out of you.

Q. Why did God give women nipples.
A. To make suckers out of them.

Q. What's worse than a male chauvinist pig?
A. A woman that won't do what she's told.

Q. What's it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down?
A. Marriage.

Q. Why are hangovers better than women?
A. Hangovers will go away.

Q. What's a clitoris?
A. A hood ornament.

Q. What's the only bad thing about the 69 position?
A. The view.

Q. Why did God give men penises?
A. So we'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.

Q. What are the small bumps around a woman's' nipples for?
A. Its Braille for "suck here."

Q. Why do most women pay more attention to their more...

WHAT did you learn in school today?" mother asked her young son.
"I learned how to add," replied the child. "Two plus two the son of bitch is four.. Three plus three the son of bitch is six. .."
The shocked mother went to school the next day and confronted the teacher who, on hearing her complaint, was equally shocked. So the child was called in to repeat what he had learnt. Hearing him, the teacher burst out laughing and said "What I actually taught the children was two plus two, the sum of which is four; three plus three, the sum of which is six!"

Mrs. Sippy was teaching her 1st grade class about the ABC's, and she wanted the class to use a word, starting with the alphabet. So she starts with A, little Johnny shoots his hand up in the air, the teacher debated a thought (hmmm, no, he might say something like ass.) so she calls on little Susan, Susan says apple. "Very good Susan" says the teacher. "Now, something that starts with the letter B." Johnny has his hand up first again. Teacher thinks (no, he might say bitch....) So she calls on Little Bobby...."Basket" he says, "Good word Bobby!" she says...Well, this goes on all the way up to "W", so the teacher announces "choose a word that starts with W". Johnny has both hand's up, he has a word for it! The teacher thinks and thinks and thinks, and she can't think of a single bad word he could say. "Yes, Johnny, whats your word?" she asked..."Womb!"..."Like a mother's womb?" the teacher asked, more...

Wouldn't it be nice to tell the Dean of your college what you REALLY think about him/her? Well, if you like your Dean as much as I like my Dean, then you'd better keep your mouth shut. I knew I'd get kicked out of the college if I expressed my true feelings, so I remained silent for the last four years. But yesterday was my graduation. And as I walked across the stage, the Dean handed my diploma to me (nicely scrolled and tied with a ribbon). Once she handed it to me, I could finally tell that bitch what I REALLY thought about her. So I leaned across her podium and I looked her straight in the eye. "Hey Bitch," I said. "You're so damn ugly, you could practice birth control just by leaving the lights on!" And then I walked off the stage, and went home. I gotta tell you that it felt just as good as I had imagined it would for the last four years. Today, I unwrapped my diploma, fr amed it, and hung it in the living room, where it proudly exclaims to the world: more...