Bitch Jokes / Recent Jokes
Santa heard his son reciting his homework:
"Two plus two, the son of a bitch is four; four plus four, the son of a bitch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a bitch...'" "Shut up !" shouted furoius Santa. "Watch your language! You're not allowed to use the swearwords".
"But, Dad," replied the boy, "that's what the teacher taught us, and she said to recite it out loud till we learned it."
Next day Santa went right into the classroom to complain.
"Oh, heavens !" said the teacher. "That's not what I taught them. They're supposed to say, 'Two plus two, the sum of which is four.' "
Yesterday I got from my boss the Performance Evaluation results he was doing for a while.
Here is a copy of it.
PERFORMANCE EVALUATION
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Under the freedom of information act and the federal privacy act of 1974, I understand that my work
performance is being evaluated. I have the right to review and discuss differences in order to resolve
them and I have the right to request amendment to and/or modification of any document.
Name: Tunga Date of review: 26th January, 1998
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KNOWLEDGE: 1 [V] The son of a bitch really knows his shit
2 [ ] Knows just enough to be dangerous
3 [ ] Only has half a brain and is dangeruos
4 [ ] Fucking brain damage. His coffee cup has a higher I. more...
there was a man and a women having sex his mom says basterd and his dad says bitch so the kid went up to his dad and asked what dose bitch mean it means lady went up to his mom and asked what dose basterd mean it means gentalmean.so there where having sex agin and his mom says nice dick and his dad says nice tits so the kid went up to his mom and asked what dose dick mean it means coat whent up to his dad and asked what dose tits mean it means hats.his dad was shaving he cut his self he said shit so the kid went up to his dad what dose shit mean it means shaving.his mom was cutting turkey for thanksgiving she cut her self she said fuck so the kid asked her what dose fuck mean it means cutting turkey.so a group of people came in and the boy said hellow basterd and bitches hang up youre dicks and tits my dad is in the bathroom shiting and my mom is in the kitchen fucken the turkey
One day a farmer saw a young man ride up, the man asked if the could stay in the barn for the night.After a while the farmer said "yes but not to mess with his daughters or wife", the man said " sir if i mess with your daughter i will give you that silver saddle on my horse.The farmer looked and agreed. That night the man when out and got both daughters and his wife. the next day he got a early start the daughters got up and yelled " you basterd get back here with our silver saddle", then the mother came out and yelled "you son of a bitch get back here with my silver saddle" and the he farmer came out and yelled "you son of a bitch get back here with my silver saddle and the youngest girl looked and said "pa did he get you too"
Top 75 Reasons Why Women Should Not Have Freedom Of Speech
1. She doesn't need to talk to get me a beer.
2. If she's in the kitchen like she should be, no one can hear her anyway.
3. If she can talk, all she'll do is complain.
4. Because she won't say "I will" instead of "I do."
5. No man wants to hear "first down" during a basketball game.
6. Because PMS is no excuse for whining.
7. No man needs or wants to hear the word "period" unless it has to do with hockey.
8. Women created tampon and yeast infection commercials during football.
9. Affirmative action.
10. When men whistle at them in the street, they should just shut up and obey.
11. If my dick's in her mouth, she can't talk anyway.
12. Oprah.
13. Feminists.
14. Because that stupid look on her face should not be accompanied by an equally stupid statement.
15. The 2nd and 19th amendments.
16. I don't want to be made to lie and more...