Beckham Jokes / Recent Jokes
David Beckham walks into a library and says, "I'll have a Big Mac and fries, please."
The librarian replies, "Sir, this is a library."
Beckham looks embarrassed and whispers, "I'll have a Big Mac and fries."
David Beckham walks into a sperm donor bank,
"I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist.
"Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?".
"Yes" replies Beckham "you should have my details on your computer".
"Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call Posh Spice for you?"
"Why do I need help?" asks Beckham.
The receptionist replies "Well David, it says on your record that you're a useless wanker...."
Beckham went into training one day and saw Owen with a thermo-flask. He asked him what it was for and Owen said "It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold".
The next day Beckham came into training with a thrmo-flask. So Owen asked him what he had in it. He said "well you said it kept hot things hot, and cold things cold so Posh told me to put in some coffee and enough choc-ices for the lads but when I looked into the thermo-flask, when I got here, the choc-ices had melted!"
What’s the difference between David Beckham and an airplane model kit?
One’s a glueless kit and the other’s a clueless git!
David Beckham is currently starring in a Chinese TV commercial for anti-impotence pills. The pills are made of natural herbs, chemical supplements, and pictures of Beckham's wife.
It was Christmas and David Beckham had just lost his
career in English Football Squad, been sacked from Manchester United and had been dumped up Victora Beckham (his wife)
He was about to commit sucide when all of a sudden he heard a jingle and a "ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!"
He stopped and looked around and he saw Santa Claus pull up to him on his Sleigh.
Santa said "David what are you doing?"
David replied "I've just lost my
career in the English Football Squad, been sacked from Manchester United and had been dumped up wife.
So I am about to commit sucide of this cliff."
Santa replied "well David as you know I am Santa Claus and I can grant you any 3 wishes you want, but first you must do me a favour"
He instructed David to pull down his pants and bent over while Santa did his business.
Over that David pulled up his trousers and said "Santa these are my 3 wishes, can you get me back into more...
Big news out of England this morning that David Beckham has been dropped from the country's soccer team.
Tough decision for England's coach Steve McClaren?
Not really. The nail in Beckham's coffin came when, on the same day, British authorities announced that baby formula would no longer be allowed on all outbound flights out of Heathrow Airport.