Batsman Jokes / Recent Jokes

Gilchrist and Sangakkara
The ICC 2007 World Cup final between Sri Lanka and Australia is now history and another traingular series of matches coming ahead.
There has been loads of articles published, wide range of views expressed and many postmortems by various individuals, including past and present cricketers held.
I have been carefully reading all the stuff, including our own' on-the-spot' reports filed by veteran cricket writer Dr. Elmo Rodrigopulle, the only Sri Lankan English journalist to cover the entire tournament.
Whilst thinking of all those action paced episodes from the Caribbean for nearly two months, I had a dream.
Yes! That was a dream final.
Sri Lanka captain Mahela Jayawardena won the toss and elected to bat first in a final curtailed to 38 overs per side due to morning rain. Sri Lanka made a commanding total of 281 for 4 in their allocated 38 overs. The architect of the massive Lankan total was none other than wicket keeper batsman more...

One time, Grace was having no luck bowling against a stonewalling batsman. After each ball, Grace would say to the umpire:' I'll have him yet!'

Next ball, he hit the batsman on the pad. Grace turned to the umpire.
'What did I tell you?' he said.
'Out,' said the umpire.

The batsman was trying to join the local side;' Have you any playing experience?' asked the captain.

'I should say so. I once played with Colin Cowdrey!'

'Really?'

'That's right. He told me after the game who he was. He said:' If you're a batsman, I'm Colin Cowdrey'!'

In a Test between India and the West Indies, the fiery Wes Hall was sending quivers down the Indian spine. The new batsman walked slowly to the crease, not feeling unlike a lamb at the slaughter house.

As the great bowler thundered in, suddenly he stood up in the crease, and signalled that he wanted the sight screen adjusted.

Adjustments were made and the bowler was ready to come in again.

Once again, in the middle of his run-up, the batsman found something disturbing in the sight screen. Indeed, this went on a few times before the irritated umpire walked up to the batsman and enquired,

"Where do you want the sight screen, for God's sake?"

The batsman asked, with an ounce of fear, " Couldn't I have between him and me?"

A famous south Asian batsman on his wedding day asks his bride "honey how was my shot between the two fine legs"
She replied " It was fine but you were not the opening batsman"

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It was the after-lunch session and the batsman had been drinking too heavily during the break. He staggered up to the captain and confessed that he could see three of everything.
'Well,' said the captain,' when you get out there and the three balls come towards you, just hit the middle one.
'The batsman weaved his way to the crease and was bowled first ball. He made his way back.
'What happened?' demanded the captain.' Didn't you hit the middle ball?'
'Yesh,' replied the batsman,' but I used the outside bat!'

The batsman was out first ball. On the long walk back to the pavilion he had to pass the incoming batsman, a supercilious rival.
'Hard luck, old man,' smirked the newcomer.
'Yes. It's a shame I had to be right in the middle of a hat trick.