Aunt Jokes / Recent Jokes

After much careful research, it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives.Among them were:His obnoxious brother... Please Gogh His dizzy aunt... Verti Gogh The brother who ate prunes... Gotta Gogh The constipated uncle... Cant Gogh The brother who worked at a convenience store... Stopn Gogh The grandfather from Yugoslavia... U Gogh The brother who bleached his clothes white... Hue Gogh The cousin from Illinois... Chica Gogh His magician uncle... Wherediddy Gogh His Italian uncle... Day Gogh His Mexican cousin... Amee Gogh The Mexican cousin's American half brother... Grin Gogh The nephew who drove a stage coach... Wellsfar Gogh The ballroom dancing aunt... Tan Gogh A sister who loved disco... Go Gogh The bird lover uncle... Flamin Gogh His nephew psychoanalyst... E Gogh The fruit loving cousin... Man Gogh An aunt who taught positive thinking... Wayto Gogh The little bouncy nephew... Poe Gogh And his niece who travels the country in a van... Winnie Bay Gogh

Aunt Dora went to her doctor to see what could be done about her constipation. "It's terrible," she said, "I haven't moved my bowels in a week." "I see. Have you done anything about it?" asked the doctor. "Naturally," she replied, "I sit in the bathroom for a half-hour in the morning and again at night." "No," the doctor said, "I mean do you take anything?" "Naturally," she answered, "I take a book."

Once upon a time a four-year old boy was visiting his aunt and uncle. He was a very outspoken little boy and often had to be censured to say the right thing at the right time. One day at lunch, when the aunt had company, the little boy said, "Auntie, I want to tinkle." Auntie took the little boy aside and said, "Never say that, Sonny. If you want to tinkle, say "I want to whisper." The incident was forgotten.

That night when Uncle and Auntie were soundly sleeping, the little boy climbed into bed with them. He tugged at his uncle's shoulder and said, "Uncle, I want to whisper."

Uncle said, "All right, Sonny, don't wake Auntie up. Whisper in my ear."

The little boy was sent back to his parents the next day.

Whenever my aunt went to the doctor, she would complain to me about the long delay she always endured.One day, when my aunt's name was finally called, she was asked to step on the scale. "I need to get your weight today," said the nurse.Without a moment's hesitation, my aunt replied, "One hour and 45 minutes!"

After considerable research, it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were:
His dizzy aunt... Verti Gogh
The brother who ate prunes... Gotta Gogh
The constipated uncle... Cant Gogh
The brother who worked at a convenience store... Stopn Gogh
The grandfather from Yugoslavia... U Gogh
The cousin from Illinois... Chica Gogh
His magician uncle... Wherediddit Gogh
His Mexican cousin... Amee Gogh
The Mexican cousin's American half brother... Grin Gogh
The ballroom dancing aunt... Tan Gogh
A sister who loved disco... Go Gogh
The nephew who drove a stage coach... Wellsfar Gogh
The bird lover uncle... Flamin Gogh
His nephew psychoanalyst... E. Gogh
The fruit loving cousin... Man Gogh
An aunt who taught positive thinking... Wayto Gogh
The little bouncy nephew... Poe Gogh
The hairdresser... Washan Gogh
The marathon runner... Readysteady Gogh

A couple's happy married life almost went on the rocks because of the presence
in the household of old Aunt Emma. For seven long years she lived with them, always crotchety, always demanding. Finally the old girl died.

On the way back from the cemetery, the husband confessed to his wife, Darling,
if I didn't love you so much, I don't think I would have put up with having your Aunt Emma in the house all those years.

His wife looked at him aghast. *My* Aunt Emma! she cried. I thought she was *your* Aunt Emma

Old Aunt Cora went to her doctor to see what could be done about her troublesome constipation. "It's terrible," she said to the doctor. "I haven't moved my bowels in more than a week.""I see. Have you done anything about it?" asked the doctor."Oh, yes," Aunt Cora replied, "I sit in the bathroom for a good half of an hour in the morning and then again at night.""No," the doctor said, "I mean do you take anything?""Of course I do." she answered, "I take a magazine!"