Atom Jokes / Recent Jokes

Iron the Red Atom Molecule
(to the tune of "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer")

There was Cobalt and Argon and Carbon and Fluorine
Silver and Boron and Neon and Bromine
But do you recall
the most famous element of all?

Iron the red atom molecule
had a very shiny orbital
And if you ever saw him
You'd enjoy his magnetic glow
All of the other molecules
used to laugh and call him Ferrum
They never let poor Iron
join in any reaction games.
Then one inert Chemistry eve
Santa came to say
Iron with your orbital so bright
won't you catalyze the reaction tonight?
Then how the atoms reacted
and combined in twos and threes
Iron the red atom molecule
you'll go down in Chemistry!

Two atoms were sitting in a restaurant. After they left, the first atom said "wait, i have to go back! I left an electron
Behind!" "are you sure?" asked the other. "yes" said the first atom, "i'm positive!"

The snack bar next door to an atom smasher was called "The Fission Chips."On April Fools Day, a mother put a fire cracker under the pancakes. She blew her stack. A new chef from India was fired a week after starting the job. He keep favoring curry. A couple of kids tried using pickles for a Ping-Pong game. They had the volley of the Dills. The four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Instant, and Chocolate. A friend got some vinegar in his ear, now he suffers from pickled hearing. Overweight is something that just sort of snacks up on you. Sign in restaurant window: "Eat now - Pay waiter."I thought you were trying to get into shape? I am. The shape I've selected is a triangle.

A hydrogen atom lost its electron and went to the police station to file a missing electron report. He was questioned by the police: "Haven't you just misplaced it somewhere? Are you sure that your electron is really lost?"
"I'm positive." replied the atom.