Apologize Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Stalin is addressing the people. He announces:
    Comrades, I have here a telegram from Trotsky. He states, "You were right and I was wrong. You are the true heir to Lenin. I should apologize."
    From the front row a (comrade) tailor rises and calls, "Comrade Stalin!"
    Stalin replies, "In our great free socialist state, even a tailor may address the head of state. What is it, Comrade Tailor?"
    The tailor replies, "You`re reading it wrong."
    "What," says Stalin, "what is wrong? How should I read it? Come up here and tell us."
    The tailor reads: "You were right and I was wrong? *YOU* are the true heir to Lenin? *I* should apologize?"

    Dear Tech Support:
    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife
    1.0. I soon noticed
    that the new program began unexpected child processing
    that took up a lot of
    space and valuable resources.
    In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other
    programs and now
    monitors all other system activity. Applications
    such as Poker Night
    10.3, Football 5.0, Golf 7.5, Barhopping 6.9 &
    Racing 3.6 no longer run,
    crashing the system whenever selected
    I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while
    attempting to run
    my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going
    back to Girlfriend 7.0, but
    the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.
    Please help!
    A Troubled User.
    Dear Troubled User:
    This is a very common problem that men complain about.
    Many people upgrade
    from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it
    is just a Utilities more...

    I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job-George Bush, during his first Presidential campaign"This is a great day for France!"-Richard Nixon, while attending Charles De Gaulle's funeral"Now, like, I'm President. It would be pretty hard for some drug guy to come into the White House and start offering it up, you know?... I bet if they did, I hope I would say, 'Hey, get lost. We don't want any of that.'"-George Bush, talking about drug abuse to a group of students"For seven and a half years I've worked alongside President Reagan.We've had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex... uh... setbacks."-George Bush"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy. But that could change."-Dan Quayle"Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here."-Dan Quayle during a visit to Hawaii in more...

    The Top 13 Retractions Printed by the NY Times in 199813 "Correction: The cookie recipe in question costs $350, not $250 as previously reported." 12 "Earlier this year, the Times mistakenly reported that software magnate Bill Gates is a money-hungry, maladapted, socially awkward loser. He is, in fact, a bloodsucking cob-nobbler. The Times regrets the error." 11 "We wish to apologize for calling the former Australian Prime minister, Paul Keating, the lowest slime-ball in the country. We meant in THEIR country." 10 "Due to a typographical error yesterday, we mistakenly printed the entire Wall Street Journal under our banner. It should have been the Washington Post. Sorry." 9 "Okay, so it was a blue dress, not a red skirt. Get off our backs already!"8 "In Thursday's edition of the Times, we erroneously reported the stories of five people who experienced bad luck as a result of not forwarding an e-mail message..."7 "This more...

    Here are a few reasons
    why guys like girls:
    They will always smell good
    even if its just shampoo
    The way their heads always
    find the right spot on our shoulder
    How cute they look when they sleep
    The ease in which they fit into our arms
    The way they kiss you and
    all of a sudden everything
    is right in the world
    How cute they are when they eat
    The way they take hours
    to get dressed
    but in the end
    it makes it all worth while
    Because they are always
    warm even when its minus 30 outside
    The way they look good
    no matter what they wear
    The way they fish for compliments
    even though you both know that you
    think she's the most
    beautiful thing on this earth
    How cute they are when they argue
    The way her hand always finds yours
    The way they smile
    The more...

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