Anniversary Jokes / Recent Jokes

On their anniversary night, the husband sat his wife sat down in the den with her book, turned on the soft reading lamp, slipped off her shoes, patted and propped her feet and announced that he was making a romantic dinner for them all by himself.
"How sweet!" she thought.
Three hours later, she was still waiting for dinner to be served.
She tiptoed to the kitchen and found it a colossal mess. Her harried husband, removing something indescribable from the smoking oven, caught sight of her in the doorway. "It's almost ready," he vowed. "Sorry it took me so long, but I had to refill the pepper shaker."
"Why, darling, how long could that have taken you?" she asked.
"More than an hour, I guess," he replied. "It wasn't easy stuffing it through those dumb little holes, you know!"

A man and a woman were celebrating their 50th anniversary. They were talking before their dinner about how they should celebrate their big evening. The woman decided she would cook a big dinner for her husband. Then he said they should do what they did on their wedding night and eat at the dinner table naked. The woman agreed. Later that night at the table, the woman says, "Honey, my nipples are as hot for you as they were fifty years ago." The man replies, "That's because they are sitting in your soup."

An elderly couple are enjoying an anniversary dinner together in a
small tavern. The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the
first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this
tavern where you leaned against the fence and I made love to you.
"Yes," she says, I remember it well.
"Ok," he says, "How about taking a stroll round there again and we can do it for old time's sake.
"Oooooooh Henry, you devil, that sounds like a good idea," she answers.
There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this, and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble." So he follows them.
They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks. Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the more...

An elderly couple decide to celebrate their fiftieth anniversary by reliving their honeymoon. They get a reservation for the honeymoon suite in the same hotel at the same resort.
After waking the next morning to a room service breakfast they begin eating in the nude.
The wife says "Oh Harold this is just like fifty years ago! My breasts feel all warm and tingly!"
To which he replies "Well they ought to Gladys one's a hangin' in your oatmeal, the other's in your coffee!"

Banta wanted to get his beautiful wife, Preeto, something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone.
He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features.
Preeto was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new phone.
The next day Preeto went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her astonishment, it was Banta on the other end.
"Hi Preeto," he said, "how do you like your new phone?"
Preeto replied, "I just love it! It`s so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there`s one thing I don`t understand though..."!
"What`s that, sweetie?" asked Banta.
"How did you know I was at Sukhna Lake?"

An elderly couple is enjoying an anniversary dinner together in a small tavern. The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we made love together over fifty years a go? We went behind this tavern where you leaned against the fence and I made love to you."
"Yes," she says, "I remember it well."
"Ok," he says, "How about taking a stroll round there again and we can do it for old time's sake."
"Oooooooh Henry, you devil, that sounds like a good idea," she answers.
There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this, and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see these two old-timers make love against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble." So he follows them.
They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks. Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the more...

once upon a time there was an old married couple they had been married for 50 years and it was they're anniversary it's our anniversary said the little old lady and I will grant you one wish' so the little old man thought of his wish and then he said "give me a blowjob" and the little old lady agreed afterwards the little old man asked "now is there anything I can grant you?"

"give me a kiss!"