Absolut Jokes

What if condoms had corporate sponsors?
Nike Condoms: Just do it.
Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.
Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.
Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.
Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.
Flinstones Vitamins Condom Pack: Ten million strong and growing.
Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but ph balanced for a woman.
Macintosh Condoms: It does more, it costs less, it's that simple.
Ford Condoms: The best never rest.
Chevy Condoms: Like a Rock.
Dial Condoms: Aren't you glad you use it? Don't you wish everybody did?
New York Lotto Condoms: Cause hey -- you never know.
California Lotto Condoms: Who's next?
Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever.
EverReady Condoms: Keeps going and going. ..
KFC Condoms: Finger-Licking Good.
Coca Cola Condoms: Always the Real Thing.
Lays Condoms: Betcha can't have just one.
Campbell's Soup Condoms: Mm, mm more...

New mixed drinks contest winners
With no further ado, here the names are, in alphabetical
order. Which one do you think was THE winner?
Absolut Zero…………. Absolut vodka over frozen nitrogen
Alexander the Grrreat…. Gin, creme de cacao, and sweet cream over corn flakes
American in Paris…….. Kentucky bourbon and champagne
Black Sabbath…………Kahlua and Mogen David wine
Blind Faith………….. Wood alcohol and sacramental wine
Blood Clot……………Vodka, tomato juice, and Jell-O
Bloody Awful…………. Vodka and ketchup
Blue Moon……………. Corn whiskey and Aqua Velva
Coleman Cooler……….. White wine, soda, fried chicken crumbs, and sand
Fuzzy Naval Base………Peach schnapps, orange juice, and ammonia
George Bush………….. George Dickel bourbon and Busch beer
Gorbachev……………. Vodka with a splash of port wine
Honeydew the Dishes……Midori and Dawn
Marie more...