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NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. NAME________________________ DATE OF BIRTH______________ HEIGHT________ WEIGHT__________ IQ________ GPA__________ SOCIAL SECURITY #________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #__________ BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES_______________________________ HOME ADDRESS___________________ CITY/STATE__________ ZIP_____ Do you have ONE male and ONE female parent? ___________________________ If NO, please explain ____________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________ Number of years they have been married _______________________________ If less than your age, explain _______________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Do you own a van? _______________ A truck with oversized tires? _______________ A waterbed? _______________ A pickup with a more...

What will happen if the Government of India decides to become a commercial film financier, say of' Mahabharat'? Read on.... Government of India Ministry of Human Resources Development Department of Culture Films Division No. B1452/234/2003 Dt. 15. 5. 03To: Shri. B. R. Chopra, Film Director, Mumbai Ref: Your letter dt. 2. 12. 90 regarding financing of films by Govt ofIndia -story submitted by you - namely,' Mahabharat' The undersigned is directed to refer the above letter and state that the Government has examined your proposal for financing a filmCalled' 'Mahabharat'. The Very High Level Committee constituted for this purpose has been in consultation with the Human Rights Commission, National Commission for Women and Labour Commission, in addition to various Ministries and State Governments, and have formed definitive opinionsAbout the script. Their observations are as below: 1. In the script submitted by you it was shown that there were two setsof cousins, namely, the Kauravas more...

60 above - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wooly hats.
Chicago people sunbathe.50 above - New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
Chicago people plant gardens.40 above - Italian cars won't start.
Chicago people drive with the windows down.32 above - Distilled water freezes.
Lake Michigan's water gets thicker.20 above - Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Chicago people have the last cookout before it gets cold.15 above - New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
Chicago people throw on a sweatshirt.0 degrees - Californians fly away to Mexico.
Chicago people lick the flagpole and throw on a light jacket over the sweatshirt.20 below - People in Miami cease to exist.
Chicago people get out their winter coats.40 below - Hollywood disintegrates.
Chicago's Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.60 below - Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica.
Chicago's Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold more...

Flight fifty has a pretty rough time above the ocean. Suddenly a voice comes over the intercom: "Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seat belts and assume crash positions. We have lost our engines and we are trying to put this baby as gentle as possible down on the water"."Oh stewardess! Are there any sharks in the ocean below?" asks a little old lady, terrified."Yes, I`m afraid there are some. But not to worry, we have a special gel in the bottle next to your chair designed especially for emergencies like this. Just rub the gel onto your arms and legs"."And if I do this, the sharks won`t eat me any more?" asks the little lady."Oh, they will eat you all right, only they won`t enjoy it so much".

Ask the following to a Blonde to see if she is a DUMB BLONDE or a smart blonde... yeah right...

1. Who do want to be most like in life:
A. Vanna White
B. Michelle Fiefer
C. Britney Spears
E. None of the Above

2. In a game of Hide-And-Go Seek, do you:
A. Run when you see the seeker
B. Stay hiding until the seeker finds you
C. Run when the seeker sees you
E. Follow the seeker quietly

3. What happens when you get Alzheimers Disease
A. You loose alot of weight
B. Gain weight
C. Get really smart
D. Loose your memory

4. How do you kill a bird:
A. Hit it
B. Throw it off a building
C. Cook it
D. All of the above

5. What's an important question about pregnancy
A. Is it mine
B. How far along am I
C. Is it a boy or girl
D. What hospital should I go to for delivery

Don't read them this more...

Ask the following to a Blonde to see if she is a DUMB BLONDE or a smart blonde…yeah right…
1. Who do want to be most like in life:
A. Vanna White
B. Michelle Fiefer
C. Britney Spears
E. None of the Above

2. In a game of Hide-And-Go Seek, do you:
A. Run when you see the seeker
B. Stay hiding until the seeker finds you
C. Run when the seeker sees you
E. Follow the seeker quietly

3. What happens when you get Alzheimers Disease
A. You loose alot of weight
B. Gain weight
C. Get really smart
D. Loose your memory

4. How do you kill a bird:
A. Hit it
B. Throw it off a building
C. Cook it
D. All of the above

5. What’s an important question about pregnancy
A. Is it mine
B. How far along am I
C. Is it a boy or girl
D. What hospital should I go to for delivery

Don’t read them this more...

Beer and Ice Cream Diet

As we all know, it takes 1 calorie to heat 1 gram of water 1 degree centigrade. Translated into meaningful terms, this means that if you eat a very cold dessert (generally consisting of water in large part), the natural processes which raise the consumed dessert to body temperature during the digestive cycle literally sucks the calories out of the only available source, your body fat.

For example, a dessert served and eaten at near 0 degrees C (32.2 deg. F) will in a short time be raised to the normal body temperature of 37 degrees C (98.6 deg. F). For each gram of dessert eaten, that process takes approximately 37 calories as stated above. The average dessert portion is 6 oz, or 168 grams.

Therefore, by operation of thermodynamic law, 6,216 calories (1 cal./gm/deg. X 37 deg. x 168 gms) are extracted from body fat as the dessert's temperature is normalized.

Allowing for the 1,200 latent calories in the dessert, the more...