3000 Jokes / Recent Jokes

I heard this from my brother, who is a Search and Rescue pilot at Canadian
Forces Base Bagotville, Quebec. It's an apocryphal story that allegedly
happened late one night during bad weather, as heard over the tower radio:
Helicopter Pilot: "Roger, I'm holding at 3000 over beacon."
Second voice: "NO! You can't be doing that! I'm holding at 3000 over
that beacon!"
(brief pause, then first voice again): "You idiot, you're my co-pilot."

Late one night during bad weather, the following was heard over the radio at an airport control tower:

Helicopter Pilot: "Tower, I'm holding at 3000 over Heli-pad 1."

Second voice: "NO!!! You can't be doing that! I'm holding at 3000 over that pad!"

There was a brief moment of silence.

First voice again: "You idiot! You're my CO-PILOT!"

One day upon arriving home from work, my wife informed me that she was interested in having breast enlargement surgery. When I asked why, she said, "Because it would improve my self-esteem, and hopefully make me a little more attractive to you."
When I asked her how much it would cost, she said "$3000 per breast."
I exclaimed, "$3000 per breast?! Have you tried the toilet paper method?"
She looked puzzled.
"Sure - each night before you go to bed, rub toilet paper between y our breasts, and over a period of time, they should grow."
She said, "That won't work!"
I replied, "It worked on your ass!"