11th Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was
    Enough (they could not afford a larger doublewide). So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn't want to have any more children.
    The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy
    that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a
    cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a
    beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
    The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man,
    but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."
    So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion. The Georgia
    physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a
    vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama. This doctor
    instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light more...

    A man, who was an average golfer, was on the 11th tee at Augusta. He promptly shanks a shot into the trees. Upon discovering his ball, he found it to be next to a witch.
    The witch was stirring a pot of golfer's brew. The gentleman asked the witch what the brew was for. The witch responded that the brew would do two things; first he would become the best golfer in the world and secondly his sex life would go to hell. And like most golfers I know, he choose the brew and better golf.
    A year goes by and the man has won every major championship and is world renowned for his golf game. But, upon arriving at the 11th tee at Augusta, he hits a shot in the same woods where he reunits with the witch.
    The witch remembers him and asks, "How's your golf game?" He responds, "Fantastic!" Then she says, "How's your sex life?" He responds, "Not bad..."
    The witch says "Not Bad? What do you mean not bad??" The man says "Twice last more...

    This guy was out playing his weekly round of golf when he hit
    a shot into the trap off the 11th green. So he pulls out his sand wedge
    and takes a swing at the ball only to hit something metallic underneath.
    Being curious, he digs away the sand only to find what looks like Aladin's
    Lamp. It's kind of dirty, so he takes out his golf towel to clean it off.
    All of a sudden... POOF!... a genie apears from the lamp and says,
    "Sir, you have freed me from the lamp! For this I will grant you 3 wishes!"
    The man thinks for a moment and says, "You know, I have everything I could
    possibly want. Give the wishes to someone else." He quickly putts out and
    leaves for the 12th tee.
    The genie is flabergasted. "To think that someone in this world could feel
    so fulfilled that he could pass up not just 1 but 3 wishes! I know what
    I'll do. To reward him, I'll grant him 3 things without him knowing. Now
    lets see. What does every man more...

    Look at this:
    The date of the attack: 9/11 - 9 + 1 + 1 = 11
    September 11th is the 254th day of the year: 2 + 5 + 4 = 11
    After September 11th there are 111 days left to the end of the year.
    119 is the area code to Iraq/Iran. 1 + 1 + 9 = 11
    Twin Towers - standing side by side, looks like the number 11
    The first plane to hit the towers was Flight 11
    I Have More.......
    State of New York - The 11 State added to the Union
    New York City - 11 Letters
    Afghanistan - 11 Letters
    The Pentagon - 11 Letters
    Ramzi Yousef - 11 Letters (convicted of orchestrating the attack on he WTC in 1993)
    Flight 11 - 92 on board - 9 + 2 = 11
    Flight 77 - 65 on board - 6 + 5 = 11

    Requirements for 11th Degree Black Belt Master of Judo Well before testing for this rank any experienced Judo teacher should have already learned these basic techniques: Escape from DojoThe quick exit to avoid clean up and helping with the mats. Sleeper StanceStanding at the corner of the dojo pretending to be observing the students as they sweat with exhaustion. Sigh of WisdomSudden, forceful exhalation when a beginning student unexpectedly survives a dangerous body slam without injury. Crossing FingersA hopeful posture used when uke has been choked unconscious. Gift of InstructionThe act of taking credit whenever a student wins a tournament or performs a technique correctly. Seeing Without SeeingThe dazed look of amazement given to the student who asks a stupid question. Kuchi Waza (mouth technique)Using an hour of class time to answer the stupid question while students sit on their knees in seiza. Mugger's DefenseOffering to lighten the student's wallet to reduce the risk of more...

  • Recent Activity