"You know you are a Hmong if:" joke
Your only close friends are Hmong people. You hate "white" music and only listen to pop, techno, rap or r&b music, which, of course, are not "white". N'sync is black. You wear platforms and stylish clothes (girls). You wear baggy or preppy clothes (boys). You live in a Hmong community and never leave. If you leave, you always end up coming back. Your parents compare who has the worst kids. You have a rice cooker and buy 100 lbs. of rice every month. You have a whole pig/cow/chicken in your refrigerator. You have over ten kids in the family. Your parents/grandparents can't speak English. You have a baby or get married before you turn sixteen. All you think about is boys/girls. You know someone who works in a factory. You have cockroaches in your house. Family is the most important thing in your life. You go to all the Hmong tournaments in the summer. You have Hmong pride. You know how to spell "kuv hlub koj" and that's it. You live in Wisconsin, Minnesota or California or knows someone who lives there. You have relatives in France, Thailand or Laos. The younger generation likes to go on-line and hook up with other Hmong people.
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.
He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction
on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they
would marry, he thought to more...
If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long.
If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, more...
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
One day the Lone Ranger and his companion Tonto were walking through the desert when Tonto suddenly stopped, bent down to the ground and said, - "Buffalo Come!"
And the Lone Ranger said, "How do you know Tonto?"
Tonto replied, - "Ear stuck to more...