"You Might Be An E.R. Doctor If..." joke

your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion.
discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you.
you think that caffeine should be available in IV form.
you get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food even in the nicest restaurants.
you believe the waiting room should be equipped with a Valium fountain.
you say to yourself "great veins" when looking at complete strangers.
you believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy it is quiet around here."
you have ever referred to someone's death as a transfer to the "Eternal Care Unit".
you have ever had a patient say, "But I'm not pregnant, I can't be pregnant. How can I be having a baby?"
you have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say "I have no idea how that got stuck in there".
your most common assessment question is "what changed tonight to make it an emergency after 6 (hours, days, weeks, months, years)?"