"Words that you or I would commonly use for one meaning, have a completely different meaning to paren" joke

FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're mad at him.STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.WHOOPS: an exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge".

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